Greetings!
Is anyone else out there having problems with craving alcohol and/or opiates? I have been sober from alcohol since June 16, 2005, but recently, I have had very strong cravings for alcohol. And even though I take Suboxone for opiate cravings (clean since July 6, 2009), I still crave the highs I used to get with them.
Why, after four and-a-half years, have my cravings become so severe? I haven't craved alcohol like this, since I first got sober. I must admit that the holidays took a toll on me. I watched everyone else enjoying wine, beer and champagne, and wished fervently that I could join them in the fun. I had convinced myself that I could have a couple glasses of champagne and stop there. Luckily, I was able to abstain, after thinking my actions through to the next day. I do NOT want to drink again, because of all the awful things that happened when I was drunk. Yes, I drove drunk, with my child in the car. I fell down repeatedly and fractured my ribs several times. One time, my son had to drag me home from a bar across the street from our apartment. And, one of the worst things was having black-outs and not being able to remember what I had done the night before.
Now, I am actively involved with my son, who is 18, and the time we are spending together has been priceless. We've gotten very close over the past four and-a-half years, and I don't want to jeopardize that.
Some of the things I am doing to help prevent a relapse are: seeing my two therapists, my two psychiatrists, going to group meetings, and I am considering going back to AA, even though I don't agree with all their ideas. AA was a godsend in my life when I first got sober, and I am hoping it will provide me with more inspiration now that I am struggling so much with cravings. Perhaps hearing some of their horror stories will encourage me to not take a drink.
Thank you for letting me vent. I so desperately want to remain sober and clean, and anything you can share with me that might help me achieve this, would be a great help to me.
Char
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hi char, i too had an appetite for drinking. i dont anymore, 3-16-06 was the last time, as of yet. i also stayed away from AA because it made me more angry than it did help, i think it made me angry because i thought i had to BUY EVERYTHING everyone said, and i didnt, MOST of what you hear at meetings are opinions, now, i find the things that use to make me mad, humerous. i show up for the fellowship, something to do, get out of the house, etc. i consider staying sober a choice, i can most certainly drink myself to death, if i choose, i would rather not though. i definitely dont like the way i feel sometimes, but, today, i know its temporary, ill feel better EVENTUALLY. ive done every drug on the planet, that im aware of. i dont do those either, i wish i had an easy answer for you, but, i dont. i remember being dope sick on the couch from alcohol like it was yesterday, im allergic to the chemical alcohol, for whatever reason, if i drink, im sick, then i have to keep drinking to avoid being sick, you know the routine. i see people everyday drinking alot seemingly with no consequences, and they are having fun, apparently, not so with me. there are some people on the planet that just cant or shouldnt drink. me, you, some guy in brazil, and i think there is a guy in china, might be another one in seattle, he should probably not drink. haha, you`ll be ok, leave it alone.