today's the worste

By Alexis313 Saturday, January 16, 2010

- A
- A
- A

Well today i got up and i was fine. my Bf and I r getting a new dog a pit bull soo we went looking for stuff for it. I went off on him from 1-3pm and I cryed that i was ugly and unwanted from 4-5pm. I'm angery with my bros Gf because everytime i let her use my computer she downloads a lot of things on it and i kno she does but she lies to me about it. I want to scream and i have I feel enclosed and soo angery that I really feel i'm going to hurt someone.

I feel my bro doesnt care about me because i wanted to go to the store and i asked him to take me he didnt say a word to me soo I walked to the store in pich black darkness. I have locked myself in my room and i refuse to come out. I havent been talking my meds and i kno i need to but i feel i have given up. i feel i cant take them forever.

I txted my mother and she just blow me off like i wasnt her problem anymore... i'm hurting and I dont kno how to stop it.

someone save me.

I need help now?

Comments (4) | Add comment

tabby

1/17/10 7:31am

the only person that can save you

is you

you can not look to everyone else to fulfill all the voids in your life

you can not look to everyone else to meet all your needs

it is not their responsibility to do so, it is not in their ability to do so

the only person that can save you

is you

you acknowledge not taking your meds

and then you acknowledge all the mood shifting and the pain that comes with all that shifting

and all the drama that follows all that pain that comes with all that mood shifting

because you act out the pain and emotional turmoil of all that mood shifting

thus the drama

if you take the meds

get stablizied and the moods stop shifting so erractically so often

and perhaps your mind has a chance to settle and find some place of clarity

the family might (might - possibility, not a given) look at you differently

the drama may actually decrease a bit

and

who knows.... you may actually start feeling better

yet you won't know what may be truly in store for you while on meds

if you just choose to never take them or quit taking them for periods of time

if things really get too much and you are fearful for yourself... you can walk yourself in to your local hospital, or call your doc

it's completely your decision

peace

Alexis313

1/17/10 11:44am

thank u

Lori

1/17/10 2:36pm

Alex, I am writing this and praying that you will do better soon. I understand all to well the feeling of wanting to hurt someone. I also understand questioning your own self worth. As you know this is only a phase so to speak. Right now it looks bleak, but it will get better.

You REALLY need to take your medicine though. You and I both know how important it is for us to control our bi polar. If you have to take the medicine the rest of your life, so be it. You know yourself that if gives you a better quality of life. Sure there are times that I just want to give up. I have ask the why me question lately. This is the life that God gave us. We have to make the best of it.

You were so helpful lately when I was having a hard time with my depression and feeling like my life wasn't worth it. You are one of the people that gave me inspiration. I thank you for that. Now I am giving it back to you. This will get better. You just need to work at gaining control of this again. You can do this.

If it continues get to your doctor right away. Get back on your medicine.

Take care of yourself and I will be praying for you! Your friend, Lori

Alexis313

1/17/10 3:34pm

thank u u r soo helpful too me

today's the worste

Ask a Question