As Dickens wrote, "it was an age of foolishness" for foolishness is not the same for everyone but it shares many of the same consequences. Wisdom is lost in foolishness and it may not be easily contained. When triggers are set, symptoms of foolishness may arise. Many illnesses including bipolar disorder hypomania might be exposed and often considered foolishness and in hypomania foolishness shares many of the same behaviors. A hypomanic person is not a "foolish" one; he is merely of symptomatic mind. Hypomania, a state of living that occurs before mania and encompasses all that is joy and ecstasy, allows behaviors to escalate until the next level of a condition is met. During a hypomanic period, a bipolar patient might consider his life was the best of times, perhaps the very best of times, but beyond ecstasy...he quickly fell to the worst of times.
As I reflect upon the remainder of Dickens sentences, I concur many aspects of life are lived in this age of non-belief. Non-belief may be a condition unto itself, for a bipolar patient may reject all that is support, all that is medication, all which is sound. In non-belief, the mind is playful, and fooling, and engages in trickery. In non-belief all that may be realigned, may not. When non-belief and personal stigma live together, they are in bad company.
Affected by the season of Light and the season of Darkness, none is as important for those with a mood illness as the season of Light and the elimination of the other. The season of Light can be a metaphor for all that is positive, and wanted, and necessary. The season of Light may be all that was darkness, eradicated. The season of Light may come too fast, leave too quick, and allow conditions for the opposite. The seasons come and they go, all that is life changes with the seasons. The spring of hope is the life blood to the mentally anemic. The spring of hope may be bright sun bursting through on a cloudy day. The spring of hope most definitely is the first morning awakened by the sense of hope where, in earlier times hopelessness thrived. The spring of hope is all that is desired and struggled for. It is medication working, a spouse understanding, a mind refurbished, it is what you dream and finally obtain. Conversely, the winter of despair is both a season and a state of mind. The winter of despair lacks expectation, it is gloomy. Twenty-four hours in the winter of despair is more than a lifetime anywhere else.
This is why we must live with the resolve that we have everything before us, and our future is brighter than before. Mentally we must fight to overcome defeatist thoughts of remorse and stigma. We have everything before us due to the headway in medical attention and interest, due to research, and exploration, due to the vast array of support groups and the availability of psychiatric professionals and well defined medications. Although nothing before us is something to lose was an option in the1859 Dickens novel; it is not an option here.
Finally, it is not ours to know precisely whether we are going to Heaven or going the other way. Charles Dickens gave no indication as to which gate would be opened at the end of our path. In wellness, a reflection of our manic experience shows that the higher we are, the closer we are to Heaven. And with certainty, Heaven no matter what picture it paints is certainly more pleasing than the other. The other way has been experienced by the torturous symptoms of a mental disease and is not a stranger to some. In depression, all that is dark and foreboding pushes us down the other way and with a strong sense of symptoms, we may have already arrived.
Either way, whether they be the best or the worst of times; in wisdom or foolishness; in the epoch (era) of belief or the epoch of incredulity (disbelief); during the season of Light or the season of Darkness; the spring of hope or winter of despair; we had everything before us and we had nothing before us. We are all going directly to Heaven or we are all going directly to the other. Fundamentally, each must decide for themselves their earthly path and with calm resignation, follow a fitting plan. The well must help the unwell, the strong help the weak and through a system of support, personal dedication and by God's grace ... the very best of Charles Dickens writings will be our own.
If you enjoy this article, please visit the author at "Life is Like a Line - A Memoir of Moods, Medication, and Mania." Coming soon to a bookstore near you. http://www.LifeIsLikeALine.com
