i'm just so confused

By gclove33 Tuesday, March 17, 2009

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i'm 16.

i started doing some research for a project in school

and i realized everything i was reading about such as the

manic highs, the depressive lows, the loss of interests in

things, sleeplessness [insomnia, i guess] and plain not

caring anymore, really fit my life perfectly.

i've suggested to my parents that i'm bipolar and i think

i need help, but they just completley dismiss me.

they don't want the thought to even happen that they're

daughter may not be perfect like they wished.

and i just, i really am looking for an answer to whats

going on, but i'm afraid i'll get nowhere because my parents

refuse to help me. =/

Comments (7) | Add comment

Rosebud

3/18/09 9:34am

If you're struggling with mood swings, depression bipolar, etc., reach out to someone who will take you seriously. Go to your guidance counselor and talk about what's going on inside of you. They have to listen and they HAVE to keep everything you say confidential - unless you are talking about hurting yourself or others. They will set you up with the school psychologist (every school district has one) and they will conduct a screening process to see just what's going on. Perhaps if your parents hear the results from your school, they will take you (and your situation) more seriously. For your sake, I hope they do.

I'm a 19 female who was officially diagnosed with bipolar 2 years ago (during the summer after I graduated HS) but I suffered from severe mood swings all my life. I'm also super sensitive - my feelings get hurt easily and I feel rejection from friends a lot stronger than others. I have made 3 suicide attempts obviously (and thankfully) w/o success J

Actually I owe the help I have received to my Mom. If not for her, I would be deadL. My Mom got me into a program for teens in crisis and today, I'm doing ok even thought I still struggle with my emotions. Medication to stabilize my moods, therapy and support group helped to make most days better than they use to be.

Much like you, I knew I wasn't "right". My Mom and I never knew anything about bipolar until I spiraled downward that summer. I had fallen and I couldn't pick myself back up. Good luck to you ......

Chris

3/18/09 9:15pm

I would get help.

Other steps, start with keeping a daily journal. (how much sleep did I get....did I drink...did I do drugs...did I eat 3 decent meals)

Don't self-diagnose...Only a doctor should put a label to it, and the journal will help because you won't forget how you felt last thursday, because it's written down.

If you have serious thoughts of suicide (like planning it out), in the US, call the suicide hotline 800-suicide, or call 911.

The disease really sucks. I was taken to the hospital by the police my first time. I had no clue it might be a mental disorder. I just blamed it on stress at work (even hallucinations & hearing voices) I wrote off.

If you click on my name, it goes to my profile, where I did random/unstructured writing about me & bipolar.

Good Luck - send me a message if you need more clarification on something more specific. The previous post had very good advice also.

Eric

3/19/09 7:08am

Dear Confused,

I think any teen reading the description of symptoms of being bipolar would also feel the same way. Hormones are jumping all over the place and it is one of the toughest times in an young adults life to go through...but we all did.

If you find yourself feeling suicidal, then you really need to reach out to someone that can help. The last thing you really want is to be tagged and medicated at 16 for an illness that might not be present.

Are you able to function, are you able to do your homework and have friends? Most of us with the illness are tagged and medicated when were in our mid to late twenties when it finally rared its ugly head.

I am not saying that your not bipolar, what I am saying is that all other possibilities need to be explored by a trained professional before getting the label. I can only speak for myself...the label has been more of a hindrance that help. Once tagged...everything you say or do is equated to being aka crazy verses having normal thoughts and reactions.

Hang in there kiddo!

tabby

3/19/09 10:05am

If you feel the need to be heard, then reach out to your school guidance counselor for that is what they are there for. This is especially crucial if you are indeed having thoughts of harming yourself or thoughts of suicide sug.

Eric does have a point in that you are so young and you said you were doing some research for a project in school. It is so easy for someone to be reading something and then go "ooops... that's me" when in truth, it may very well not be.

Yet, adolescence these days is so extremely hard with all the peer pressure you are getting every day at school & the pressure at home & the pressure you place upon yourself that may or may not be based in true reality. There is also, truthfully, the hormonal factors all twisting and turning as well.

We here, are primarily "adults" and some of us are "oldies" but we do - believe it or not - remember being 16. Though we may not have had the exact same issues you face, we had our own and they were just as equally stressful and chaotic, some moreso. So.. we can relate and so can your parents.

If you are experiencing depressive spells, crying spells, thoughts of harming yourself or others, thoughts of suicide especially sug... then please go see your guidance counselor at school. He or she should know where to go from there and who you may need to see or speak to if they aren't able to assist you. He or she is there for you, the student, while in school to help you if you feel the need for help.

You aren't alone. You may feel like it but, sug you aren't alone.

Will you come back and post and let us know how you are doing?

gclove33

3/20/09 3:11am

well, ok i have no idea to ..update i thinK? haha (imagine that, a teen that can't work a computer)

ok yeah anyways, first, thanks for all the advice? you all made a good point, i shouldn't just use bipolar as a label or something, especially being a teenager. i guess, the hormones might have taken over that night? it was late when i posted that.

although,

i'm not sure if my school has a ..what was it, phsycologist? and i'm scared to ask. everyone in the office knows of me..thanks to my brilliant, or not so brilliant would probably be more accurate, record, and of course, i'm scared of what other people would think. mental illness runs in my family, (my dads mother and my dad himself). shamefully, yes i do SI. no i'm not proud, it just, its hard when you feel there's nothing else. i do appreciate all the ..help. no one else has taken me seriously and for once to feel understood really does mean something. i'm not sure where i'm going with this, but thanks again.(:

Eric

3/20/09 6:23am

Where your going with it....if you are having suicidal idealizations or leaning towards acting on them, you really need to seek help. If what your experiencing is manageable, then leave it be or get checked by a general practitioner or family doctor for thyroid functions to rule out any physical possibility.

As tabby put it...we were all your age once and it was a pain in the a**. All I can say is to just do your best, try and listen to your parents (ugh...not them) because they also know what your going through and can offer guidance and advice on coping with it.

amielee

3/20/09 5:37pm

im a cutter and i have been since i was 15, i was just diagnosed with bp2 at almost 25, and i know that ive had it since a child. ive never heard of this before now, but im learning all i can. i think that if it runs in the family then there may be a chance that you could have it too. i would suggest that you start writing your moods down everyday so you can see if there bad or all over the place.ive read alot about bp and kids, and they say that its usually hard to diagnose in kids, and teens cuz of their horomones and it could just be them "being kids". i look back at 16 and i was severly depressed and was working 2 jobs, and transferred to independent study bc school was too unbearable for me. i moved so many times, and left jobs in spans of months. i also left home when i was 16 bc i couldnt deal. i would honestly talk to your dad and his dad i think you said it was to find out more about there illnesss. knowledge never hurts and if you do find out that your bp then you will be one step ahead and aware of it. do as much research as you can and if you ever need an ear, or a friend , or advice, im here. ive been there and by a miracle of god im still alive. be careful with si bc if your a cutter liek me and your bp then you may cut a little too deep out of rage anxiety or depression, and my end up dying. i was fortunate to have my friends family to drive me to the hospital or i probably would have died. i wasnt even trying to kill myself and i hit an artery. it can be dangerous so try to be careful. sorry so long just wanted to address a few things.

i'm just so confused

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