I am ver lucky to have my Mother, a Psychologist, checking on me regularly throughout the week to monitor my moodstates, and I spend the majority of my time in a highly funcionally manic state, very active and creative, sometimes experiencing great difficuly with passive activities (i.e. watching a movie without also picking at a guitar or eating or something active) my focus is sharp when I am in this state, but I often begin to slip into more acute mania in very subtle ways which i have only recently began to notice.
just this week, I have begun to write incredibly long and detailed letters to EVERYONE on my contacts list, check my email every 15 minutes, and (as a musician) stay up until 3 or 4 in the morning recording, and wake up at 7 or 8 to continue working on the same piece. when in this state, I can finish a 12 track, 40 minute album in 7-10 days. So I label it as functional mania, because I have creative output that is clear and unconfused. but I lose sleep, my grbage piles up, I dont remember to eat, and I become so hypervigilant and excessively focused on one task that my daily rituals suffer. I begin to wonder it i am really just being creative and constructive or if i am merely "spinning my wheels." I begin to talk excessively and forget to focus on the perspective of the listener and whether my elaboations are helpful or even desirable to them. even though I now recognize all these symptoms, I find myself in denial about it, often thinking "oh, I just needed to capture that song in one session so it sounded uniform, so i had to stay up late", or "Im just writing because I'm lonely". or "Im just going through a very creative period, and my meds are keeping my mania in check" (which is still my favorite excuse).
so the line between functionaal mania and unhealthy mania is very thin for me. I just wonder who else has experiences like this, how they handle it, and WHAT SIGNS do they recognize that make them aware that their mainia is no longer constructive. I lead a very insular life, and the people i have contact with the most have mental issues of their own, and only understand Bipolar (especially with psychotic features) in a midieval, Dr. Phill, alarmist way, and are confused by my relative normality and lack of "violent outbursts" or "destructive behavoir" that the media seems so eager to label bipolar with, as fear sells, and mental health is the new racism, the most popular new prejudice.
So my only support network is my mother, and she works more than full time running her private practice. and i only contact my doctor every 3 months, barring emergencies. Im not worried about a full blown break right now, as my meds ARE really successful in containing my moodstates (and especialy my psychosis), but tend to have a chink in their armor when it comes to managing moderate and unhelpful mania. I only know Im manic right now because i recognized one of my few warning signs...I intended to write out four or five sentences on this post, and look at how elaborate I have made it! So I need more ways to recognize whis state on my own and any relaxation or winding down techniques that you find work for you in this situation.
...that this is the MOST supportive site I have found, (and I've looked for quite a few over the years), THIS is the only one i've stayed with..and there will be you find MANY supporters and friends..and OH YES!! YOU are VERY fortunate to have your mom
...and all her support and love and KNOWLEDGE too for that has to be a relief that someone, although they wish they could help MORE DOES understand the signs, symptoms, reasons for some of your actions..
I too have "denial" family members who are like, but you LOOK normal and LOOK at all you've done and are doing
(they fail to see that NOW i can't finish ANYTHING it seems, a milliion projects and nothing complete it seems...but could be the mania thinking there...geez)
For quite often, we as bps don't recognize sometimes the "little signs" that lead up to full blown mania or depression either way...but I like you am more often WAY manic
, and then BOTTOM OUT LITERALLY to depression 
(deep) within a matter of 24 hours.
..it is very hard to predict, recognize the oncoming ordeal, or even know WHICH way i'm going to be one minute to the next, (Im so sure it is hard on my spouse but he never complains just talks me through a lot)
I am rapid cycling (per the psych...and have MANY mixed mood phases) therefore it seems so hard for me to recognize ALL the time and to be honeest I am not sure any bp can fully and completely recognize ALL the precursors to the various stages of this illness for they seem so vast and individual.
However, I notice that often my hair will sort of "tingle", fingers and feet very restless and "antsy" feeling, heart feels like mild exercise but beat very dominant, shakiness, irritable at little things that normally wouldn't bother me...all are signs for me that mania is WELL on its way ...unfortunately it goes on in spite of my efforts to curb its ascent and comes upon me like a stone,
but recognizing it is there is a key for me...I then start utilizing as soon as i recognize i can't sit still or stop interrupting people or talking fast, or thoughts are racing like a race horse at the kentucky derby!
...the deep breathing exercises that my therapists taught me..I also have a list of things to "meditate per say" on... and MUSIC is a big thing for me...I can listen to certain bands and suddenly feel very creative, very okay with my mania and the things it is driving me to do....at one point the "projects" that stemmed from mania allowed (not sure that is RIGHT word, more like DROVE) me to complete a Master's degree with a 4.0 while teaching Full Time, raising 2 daughters, fighting a custody battle for my stepson (of which I had to do all the research to keep the lawyer's bill down for we had/have little funds esp. at that time my husband is disabled and is a vet.)
....but anyway, WE WON THE CASE! I GOT MY 4.0 MASTERS< I GOT TEACHER OF THE YEAR> I WAS NOMINATED FOR DISNEY'S TEACHER OF THE YEAR>COACHED CHEERLEADERS>AND uhmmm so yeah, know exactly what you mean about doing and doing and making excuses as to WHY we have to keep going at such a rate..
.IT WAS RIght at this point i realized I needed help and pursued it from my MD>>MISTAKE>>for even though she was sweet and tried, she wasn't qualified and tried so hard to get me to go to a psych, finally talked me into it and the rest is a relief actually for i'd went through NUMEROUS diagnosis and medications
Oh i could go on and on about the journey to finally finding out my disorder and the RELIEF it was to know what the heck was going on (no sleep for 4 days really sent me over the edge once...seriously you NEED to somehow get a medication or mixture of medications FROM PSYCH to sleep for i didn't realize it's importance until, well...i went DDDDOOOWWWWNN! so please seek help for that, even though when manic we may LOVE it it isn't good for our brains or our bodies!)
BUT PLEASE Andrew, in MY opinion, i fully believe these times of extreme mania are detrimental to us, although we SEEM to accomplish a lot, we SEEM to have it together and be putting out very productive and important things, and POSSIBLY SO (I KNOW YOUR SONGS ARE AWESOME SO PERHAPS YOU WERE DRIVEN TO GET THEM DONE for other reasons besides mania,
for they are very touching and hearfelt!
)
I sometimes believe the title to that book i told you about is a GREAT explaination for bp's TOUCHED WITH FIRE>>.and boy are we for the creativity flows, the mind goes places we never dreamed, we feel energetic instead of the other spectrum we face....and much much creative works HAVE been completed,accomplished, and are now known as some of the GREATS during what is now known as bipolar manic stages...
but be very very careful my friend
...others here can tell you mania can lead you back to places you DON"T wanna go...that island where we believe no one understands or that they just don't "get it" as to why we do the things we do....here YOUR NEVER ALONE and expressing your mania through long letters is FINE...if you notice uhmm
i'm probably a HORRID replier
for I ALWAYS write too much, just so much to say and share and know so many here have so much to teach me....
But also wanted to address your comment on the media...A PERFECT EXPLAINATION it does to ME too seem as if we are the new focus...it seems every HORROR movie is someone "touched" with something in the mental health disorder area...or there are TALK shows where the hosts have NO CLUE what the heck they are discusssing and how it is effecting the "others" and there are MANY...they are harming or insulting..or whatever it may be, but if you read any of my comments/posts this is a BIG sore point for me...and uhmm the history of how bps were treated was horrid....just horrid...
Don't know if you read any of GJ's shareposts but he is greatly helpful and SOOO educated on so many things in our illness....so many here are too!!
One last thing (on the main question geez.
.sorry) uhm on depression symptoms I notice i become more suspicious of others, like silly things as if talking about me or plotting something they don't want me to know,irritation at near everything like all my patiences (which i USED to be KNOWN for) has leaked out, SADNESS and deep deep felt heart felt hurting (can't call it pain for that would seem more like a heartattack ...i speak of a weightedness INTERNALLY) and crying spells that just come from no where or triggered by things like my cat not letting me pet it or the leaves falling off the trees...(weird i know but just those little things can lead me to recognize this is leading to depression)...
AND if its any consolation i NEVER sit and DON"T multitask...even when in depressed stage..so know what you mean about having to do something with HANDS while sitting if try to watch movie etc..I often do stretching exercises while trying to sit still, heck even on computer i have about 5 windows open and switch back and forth constantly ...so gotcha on your meaning on that one, others are like "GEEZ can't you sit still five seconds"....even when depressed I feel "antsy" or "pace" and cry simulatneously...so freaky thing this disorder but Andrew...your in the RIGHT place here ....
KEEP LEARNING ABOUT THE DISORDER IT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT WEAPON WE HAVE KEEP SEARCHING AND LEARNING FOR KNOWLEDGE IS POWER and never ever stop writing those songs....you're talented!!very!
Sincerely and SORRY SO LONG EVERYONE!
ctrygirl