Borderline Personality Disorder, therapist said I may still have mild BP(diagnosed in 2004)...I only read about this disorder a week or so ago...I knew immediately I had it, so when the therapist said "i think you have BPD" I was relieved cuz my feelings were validated. It jus desturbs me b/c I was 1st diagnosed w/depression(NO anti meds helped), then a psych said no I was BP which made me feel a lil better cuz sure I get depressed but It never affected my daily living. I started cutting myself @17yrs old (confirmed that ppl w/BPD often cut themselves for a quick fix to control whatever emotion they are experiencing that is to intense & they dont know how to deal), they said the Rapid Cycling & Anger Control issue was classic BPD behavior. Apparently, ppl w/BPD ofter fear abandonment due to either being abandoned as a child or not being able to express feelings therefore they never learned to cope correctly w/them. How did a Psych not pick up on this earlier? How many other ppl dont know about BPD and/or are misdiagnosed w/having Bipolar?? B/c to me BPD seems so much easier to deal w/& even totally overcome w/the possibility of no meds b/c Therapy designed for BPD is used to learn how to deal w/stress & your overly-irrational, intense, rapid mood cycling. Trying to find the right combo of drugs to treat Bipolar is a horrible experience, & I read story after story & it seems 3/4 of ppl w/Bipolar cannot find the meds that work. Im still scared I have mild bipolar & will have to do the med game again...its emotionally draining!! I only hope ppl research & research, no what they have & now read this Blog & look up Borderline Personality Disorder just incase b/c BP & BPD often coinside or have the symptoms & its not uncommon 4 ppl to have both. So maybe meds alone arent enough! I just cant imagine how many ppl are out there trying to survive day to day w/either one of these disorders. Its a daily struggle, we often hurt those around us b/c they dont understand what we're going through. Normal ppl would say something like "just breath or meditate"...it not that easy & what really sucks is I know when Im acting irrational but cant turn it off & thats frustrating cuz im not that person, I dont wanna be that person! I start Therapy Feb 2nd & see the Psych Mar 18th to be evaluated for possible meds to clear my brain so I can absorb these techniques they are going to teach me to control the mood swings cuz sometimes my brain feels fuzzy or foggy. Anyone feel that way too? Please read about Borderline Personality Disorder. Knowledge is contagious. And maybe you're not BPD but know someone who is...its not a commonly talked about disorder & why should anyone suffer due to lack of knowledge. Thx so much for all the support, I'll keep you posted on my progress. Anyone w/BPD pls let me know what you go through. Im reading books but its nice to know your not alone or crazy. thank you:)
Hi MissE,
I felt compelled to reply to your post because, I too, have been diagnosed with BPD. I have been undergoing treatment since 2003. Since last fall, the possibility of also having bipolar disorder is being explored, and (knock on wood), treatment is working for me. I have managed over the years to dramatically reduce symptoms of BPD. I am not sure that I would still qualify as having the disorder - although I definitely have borderline traits.
Just a word of caution though... you appear to expect treatment for BPD to be easier than treatment for BP. This is not the case. My goal is not to discourage you, but rather the opposite. It is natural for us borderlines to see everything as all good, or all bad. So, the thought of finally having a "right" diagnosis as the answer to your problems is totally normal. I just don't want you to fall into the negative once you hit the first hurdles. I am guessing that you are starting (or started on the 2nd?) dialectical behaviour therapy. This can be very effective, but it is very challenging, and it is primordial that you stick to it - no matter how difficult or poignant it gets.
BPD, being an Axis 2 disorder is not technically due to any chemical imbalance, although borderlines have a higher incidence of Axis 1 disorders (like anxiety or depression) which are aggravated by the BPD. So, lets say there's no chemical imbalance... that means there's also no chemical answer, so to speak. Although there is no miracle pill for Axis 1 disorders, they can help a great deal. For BPD, or other Axis 2 disorders, your recovery depends on you, your attitude, and your determination.
That's the technical stuff, but I myself don't exactly believe in all that Axis 1 or 2 lingo. Suffering is suffering and whether your suffering lies in this or that category, doesn't make it any easier or any less credible. The important thing is that your suffering is acknowledged and that your treatment is geared towards your recovery, not Axis whatever's recovery. For most people, and probably for you too, a multi-axis approach is what works.
Recovering from BPD is not a easy road, I can promise you that. But it can be done, I've known many people who have recovered successfully. However, don't let yourself be beaten down by the stigma or the attitude that some professionals may have towards you because of the label of BPD. Sadly, there are still a lot of misconceptions surrounding this label. Just always remember that you are entitled to all the help you can get, and if ever you get scoffed of or rude remarks when you try reaching out, don't focus on them, but rather, pat yourself on the back for getting yourself some help when you needed some. Every little achievement is a successful gesture on your part and if others can't recognize that, then they're just not worth the anger and/or resentment.
Sorry for rambling on so much, I tend to do that. But I really wish you good luck with your treatment, and want you to know that we are all here to encourage and support you.
Take care,
J.