Thursday, December 13, 2007
Wow, got married in 72'. Didn't know the misses had bipolar, just thought she had a CRAZY temper. LMAO it was crazy days ahead. I thought it was always me, me, me, then our son, started feeling it was him. Not. After he graduated, he left. I know why. Never occured to check her in. She had a nervous breakdown, I was overseas, military. Got back, they said shes ok after two weeks in the hospital. Still wasnt diagnoised with bipolar. Still crazier then a tasmainian devil. Then it really got bad, I'd be so frustrated hit the wall several times and lost it. Never touched her, but something needed to be done. Then came colon cancer. Then came getting out of the military, back surgery and a new job altogether, new skill sets and wheew! Then she became obsessed with the stupid casinos, lost 100k went bankrupt. Still stupid me never thought to have a mental evaluation on her. I thought her doc she saw all the time would of caught it, NOT! Then the shoplifting started, shes 64. After being caught 4 times, no time served but, 20k in attornies fees. We discovered shes bipolar! Ok got her on meds, wow what a difference. That is until this evening. The last few months has been nice. Relaspes, few, she has her moments. Well thought to take her out shopping, and sure as the sun shines, she shop lifts again. It hurts so much. I cried and cried. What the *** is it. She dont get it, its like this person from another planet is in my home. So, I'm plugging my headphones in and playing the loudest music I can find. Yeah, we been together for 35 years. But ***** what does it take to reach these people. Logic doesnt work. More meds I guess?? Just crawl back into my hole? Anyway, it feels better getting it off my chest. Good luck to the rest of you folks who have started down this path of caring for someone with bipolar, it aint an easy road!
You said she is on meds. Meds apparently have helped. Good. Does she perhaps need more meds? Not necessarily and shoplifting in and of itself doesn't mean she relapsed. Should she tell her professional group? Yeah and they'll either up or down something or have her discuss why she felt the need to do so.
I know folks who shoplift, steal identities of children, drink till their mind is gored, smoke dope, gamble playing poker - each isn't "Bipolar". It is the thrill and most of those I know, do it to get a rush. In addition, they all have the morals of alley cats because of how they were raised. They aren't "Bipolar".
They are addicted to the rush of doing it and it feeling good and getting away with it. They get what they think is a great reward for it whether it is material or emotional. They don't struggle with Bipolar, they struggle with addiction.
What I'm trying to say is - your wife is feeding her addiction and addiction runs along with the Bipolar. The Bipolar mood swings feed the addiction. She needs to be treated for Bipolar and she needs to be treated for addiction. Gambling and shoplifting are behavioral addictions that the illness feeds and stirs but doesn't create.
Like alcohol and drugs - they are addictions that the illness stirs and feeds but it is the individual that is responsible of whether they make the choice to drink and drug. Having Bipolar doesn't make someone an alcoholic or a drug addict. I've had it for over 30 years apparently and I'm not an alcoholic nor a drug addict. Now, if I wanted to be and I make that choice to become - it would not be hard to do but, I choose not to go that path.
She is on meds, she perhaps needs a tweak, she needs counseling for addictive qualities along with counseling for emotional issues.
She is though, by taking the meds, trying to follow the program. Now, if she is off her meds and hiding this fact - then that is another issue.