After being diagnosed with Bipolar disorder at the age of 18, I had been able to manage, for the most part, my illness without intervention other than outpatient treatment and medications until last month, when I was hospitalized at the age of 46 for the first time.
Initially admitted to the locked psych hospital on July 11th, I received extensive medication adjustments and then ECT (Electroconvulsive therapy), and was discharged to my husband's care on Saturday evening, August 9th. My doctor was not originally in favor of discharging me, but since my insurance benefits had been exhausted, and I was only remaining inpatient in order to have the ECT treatments, AND, more importantly, yesterday was my parent's 50th wedding anniversary and everyone in the original bridal party, not to mention everyone else in the family was going to be in attendance- he let me come home just in time for the ceremony and reception.
Last evening I was absolutely exhausted, and today I got up, took a half hour walk followed by a breakfast of yogurt and all of my medications( lamictal, luvox, cymbalta, multivitamin, omega 3 fish oil, and b complex vitamins) and then visited the local library.
I've been looking for every resource possible on Bipolar disorder, and found that I especially have been appreciative of "Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder: a Four step plan for you and your loved ones to manage the illness and create lasting stability" by Julie A. Fast and John Preston. (They have also authored "Loving someone with bipolar disorder" which I would highly recommend to all family members, spouses, or concerned friends.
Now that I am slowly coming to grips with not only the hospitalization, but the fact that I need to remain off work for awhile, getting outpatient ECT, I am facing all of my worst nightmares at once- being on even short-term disability, being hospitalized for a month, having ECT- and the truth is that I have survived all of them so far. I may have to develop some new worst case scenarios :) In any case, the stigma may prevent me from returning to my previous job, as an ANCC credentialed psychiatric nurse on a locked inpatent unit, but I am doing my best to be very matter of fact about the entire issue. Has anyone else got stories that they are willing to share on how they navigated the return to normal life after a lengthy inpatient admission? Or perhaps, a book or other resource that you have found particularly valuable?
Just as a side note, for all of the parents who worry so about what their children will think- on our way to the hospital I tried to explain where I was going, and why, to my 8 year old son. He said "Oh, I knew you were sick" , and when I asked him what he had noticed he replied" You sit all slumped over, your eyes don't open all the way, your voice is really dark, and when you do talk, it is like it isn't you inside there". God bless the child.
Susan
Not that you have to answer and I'd certainly respect you if you didn't want to but, why in the haities did you have to have ECT upon your first hospitalization ever?
Fair enough question. Very aggressive medication management was inneffective on an outpatient basis, and during the initial part of my inpatient admission. My grandmother had responded very well to ECT in the past, and so I agreed to try it in the hopes of having a similar positive response. Fortunately, I did respond very well to the ECT, with the exception of post-treatment headaches. ( I don't think calling them headaches does them justice, they feel more like a kidney stone in the brain).