Question

Whatever 42 writes:

"I am bipolar. I never realized that the hypersexual activity is a symptom of bipolar. I am having hard time understanding this. I have the hypersex symptom. However, when I am on a low, I do not have the sex symptom. So why does it come and go so dramatic. There are times I'm driving and I get so wound up I'll call my husband and tell him to meet me 'cause I need to have sex. So, then when on a low, try to explain to hubby why I just had a week of being insatiable, and now want nothing to do with sex. It is making me crazy. Why is that?"

Answer

Hi, Whatever. You're not crazy. Each individual is unique, along with their brain chemistry, but what could be happening is this:

When you are up, chances are the neurotransmitter dopamine may be pumping into your system. Dopamine, amongst other things, is responsible for pleasure and reward, which drives sexual urges. Helen Fisher PhD of Rutgers University did brain scans of patients in love and found their dopamine pathways were highly activated when they looked at photos of their sweethearts.

Antipsychotics, which block dopamine, can turn off sexual interest faster than having your mother-in-law in the bedroom.

When you're depressed, your dopamine tends to get depleted. This affects your motivation. Some people don't even want to get out of bed. Other people can manage their lives, but their sexual interest drops to zero.

So what do you tell your husband? Okay, this is the straight poop from a man: When you are up, you're giving your husband the best sex he has ever had in his life. Unbelievable sex, sex he never dreamed of, sex that makes him feel like he's died and gone to heaven sex. Your hubby is one lucky guy.

Any man with half a brain knows that sex and attention like that is well worth any "loss of interest" times you may encounter. He can wait. He knows your drive will come back. Chances are he might need a time-out, himself. In any event, you've given him plenty to fantasize on till the real thing comes along again.

Enjoy your marriage.