School Performance

12/19/07 7:11am

We have an IEP but it's not working. I've taken to daily contact with his teachers and make him sit down at the same time every day to do his homework. However, for some reason he's just not motivated and he's likely going to fail this semester. I can't be his frontal lobe 24/ 7 unfortunately.

Ask the Expert Patient, Health Guide

12/19/07 11:51am

Hi, Hopeful Mom. It's obvious you're doing everything possible to make things work for your boy - and this is why it really hurts. I hope you're networking with other parents of BP kids - this is something you shouldn't have to face alone. The Child and Bipolar Adolescent Foundation is a great online support network and resource tool.

rapunzel

12/19/07 7:50pm

hi, you know I didnt know for years that my daughter could not sleep at night, she was tested for adhd and I researched the subject for years and was at her side for years, and math, chemistry, some reading she had problems with, she was a straight A student up to the 7th grade, then she started to fail. You know I was overwelmed and went thru a grieving process about my daughter. Well, now I found out that I am Bipolar but then everyone knows some distractibility and adhd symptoms come with this diagnosis...It goes to say if you have depression or mood swings or if you have some trauma going on and at the same time you cant sleep, the executive function is not going to perform very well. Well, to make a long story short, my daughter did have to retake tests in chemistry and math and did have a very difficult time passing with a C average. What I have learned, don't make the focus the Bipolar disorder, or adhd, do what you can to help them and they will learn how to help themselves. My daughter told me, i know what to do, i just dont want to and I dont like the subject..She couldn't memorize well and to this day doesn't know her multiplications tables, but she is a black belt in taekwondo, she loves music, she wants to be a EMT. She loves extreme sports such as rock climping, scuba diving, sky diving, wow huh...so much emphasis on the books, well some people are social and intuitive and kinesic learners and they find their niche in life. I look back and I was so stressed in the ADHD disorder that I forgot to look at her as a person and her strengths and she stated, "I know what to do"and studied at night right before her tests and still sometimes she failed them but she kept on trying. She is now 20 and will go to a community college and will take classes to bring her grade point average up. I think because of her failures she is just more determined to make something of herself and at the same time feel good about herself. I think and from experience know medication is good but overmedication you lose the essence of life and living and go thru a trance like state of not feeling. I think it is so important to constantly check those meds. Everyone thinks the answer to any problem is medication. Of course it you have the schools support with extra time for tests and homework and couseling on a weekly basis and feedback from teachers to parents it is so beneficial longterm. As a parent at the beginning it is overwelming to encourage a child but after a time it just gets easier. I just want to say, remember your children are a part of you and there is nothing wrong with them, they just learn different and need sleep, good food, emotional support from professional people and your love. Is my daughter Bipolar, i don't know, does she want to know, no, she does not, does she get angry, she learned anger management, she has learned to do things that make her feel good, pilates, yoga, aerobics, friends...for now it is good..will she need meds in the future? who knows...does it matter now? no? Should I worry about the future? No. I will just take one day at a time. Good luck and don't worry. Rapunzel

Hopeful mom

12/20/07 7:45am

I like your attitude and I agree wholeheartedly. My son was very motivated when he was younger. In 7th grade he managed to pull straight As for a semester. Maybe he is going through a stage and will be more motivated later. I certainly hope so.

Thinking back, my daughter wasn't nearly as motivated at 16 as she is now.

She's 20 now with a full scholarship and pulling a 3.8 GPA in her sophomore year.

So basically I have a kid who's 16 and not really very motivated by school or learning plus he has depression problems on top of that.

One day at a time is the only way to take it. None of us know what the future holds.

rapunzel

12/20/07 12:29pm

Hi again, Just remember that for some reason, we might have some weaknessess but our strengths for sure overlap and adapt to our world. We just have to find what we are interested in and then that distractibility changes to over focusing in our attention. if you look at the many successful people in business or whatever craft they choose they do make it and are very happy. So some might have to take some meds to be centered, but it works for them. Then again, some people don't take meds and they do things that works for them and they are ok, behavioral management. Are there a lot of mental people out there? hey, if they can manage themselves and still multi-task and work on their weaknesses and all of the negative things can be turned into a plus. It is strange, if you been there and done that, you really can be intuitive and see that some people have problems but they are intellectual with gifts that one might not understand. I think that having a dialogue

is very important with active listening. You are doing great! Rapunzel

Judith Pearl

9/21/09 9:53am

Rapunzel,

I am a parent of a bipolar child, She is now 19 and attending a state university but

a lot of what you mentioned about your chikd sounds familiar. But I am just curious;

does your daughter also have menstrual irregularities, like PCOS? In addition to the bipolar disorder, it could be 40 -50 days (sometimes more or less) between periods and the Drs. say she has PCOS.

Judith Pearl

polarlight

12/23/07 6:54am

When I was in school I was lazy bored and more interested in friends and socially changing the world around me.I thought they were brainwashing us to a degree and getting us to do programs that we as students were only half interested in ....I feel sorry for kids who do not fit in or get bored some of them are not being directed properly .I was bright enough and had a lot of cool friends who did way better at academics then I did but I was a good little Artist and creative and that was my saving grace.Esp. Theater I had a great Engish Teacher who believed in the Summer Hill method and allowed us to use it in the school courses I studied ,English Drama and writing and song writing and some art were my strengths so thats where she directed me .We had free school back then and you could learn at your own pace if you attended that school but you had to learn you could not sluff off.Some kids got trades some excelled in Math and geography some went into the arts some graduated wth honors because they were learning at their own pace with guidelines,My parents kept me in the old school ways but I would have done better at a free school enviorment .Ithink a child learns well in anything that they are interested in but if you force them to learn at a rapid pace and expect them to achieve high grades while they are drugged out and then some.You are pushing them to hard I know it is hard to pull your kid out or back but give them a break .Let them stay at home for a couple days to work it out take them out shopping or for a walk .I cannot believe the school s they except so much from kids and I know my son is struggling a bit right now but thats because he is into other things .......he unfortunatly ,ives with his Dad but none of us are putting pressure on him just because of a few drops in grades ...I just want him to get through the next couple years and live to tell.I am sorry they do this and esp.when a child is so young and has gotten sick...there are other teaching methods has anyone ever thought of that???I hate that we allow the Government to or school system do this like we have to comply or our kid gets thrown out onto the streets come on .....

Hopeful mom

12/25/07 6:02pm

I asked for and received this book from my husband for Christmas.

I can't tell you what a wonderful gift it is. I've never seen so much useful information compiled in one place.

I read the first chapter and saw us in every part of it. There is no doubt in my mind that this is what we're dealing with and that the doctors who put him on Adderal should've ruled this out first.

One thing I read in the book said that stimulant usage can actually cause the bipolar to manifest itself at an earlier age.

It was like a direct slap in the face.

I ask all parents out there who have a family history of bipolar disorder to please please please rule this out before starting stimulants for their child.

They can and did cause the depression, aggression, rages, and suicidal thoughts in our son.

davidk

1/23/08 9:50pm

Some of you have related that your kids did well in school and then failed to do well after a while (higher grade level, age). Please be careful not to confuse "good grades" with "education." The first person (sorry, I didn't notice your name) who commented on Beth's question dealt with this idea well: her daughter who was failing academically, but "knew what to do" has excelled in taikwando and hopes to be an EMT. Others, too, commented that their kids were excelling in dance, music and athletics. One solution to failing academia is to interest your kids in periodicals. Take them to the bookstore and show them all of the magazines (the articles are short and often highly varied in their subject matter). Let them choose a few (five, say), take them home and read them. After a few months of this, they'll become oriented/focused on some subject(s): Archeology or SCUBA or Extreme Sports or Short Story Writing or Medicine or Politics or Foreign Affairs. And, over time, the sort of periodicals they choose will be, in that area, more and more sophisticated. In every field, there is a way of writing, a vocabulary, a manner of thinking and discourse that is particular to that area of interest. Magazines, rather than classes and textbooks, allow young people to wander around intellectually until they're comfortable and provoked. So, don't confuse grades and schooling with education and intellect. Different worlds..... Good luck, Beth. You seem to be a wonderfully dedicated mother. Your daughter's fortunate to have you in her life....

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