Thurs May
20th was my last entry. So I've been on the wellbutrin a few months now. I did decide to add the 2nd dose in the middle of my day.Those are 150mg each. It seems to work better that way. I dont do the humane society thing anymore. Why cant I stick to doing anything? It seems that when I start doing something I'm very excited. And I like become addicted..like thats all I can do. I cant or wont focus on anything else. Like my brother was talking bout some anime that he watched. An I started watching too. It was all day non-stop anime 24/7. In just 2 months I watched over 60 different anime series. They're like 13 -26 episodes each. Then I got tired of it and stopped. But it never stops..after that it was sims 3. And lately its been myspace games. My computer is on all day long. What is wrong with me?? But whats weird is that despite this me and my husband are getting along better than we have in years. Ok I do turn my computer off on weekends and
some evenings. But if he leaves for any reason I'm right back on there til he gets back. Soo weird. I think its because the wellbutrin really fixed our intimacy problems. That was a major prob in our marriage. Also I dont go to the store unless I need something specific. I havent been to my therapist in about a year. But its ok because I'm completely ignoring the whole father issues I had. If the memories come back or if he pops in my head for some reason I say to myself "go away! you dont belong here!" And it usually works. Since I'm not focusing on him anymore I can actually be in the same room with him and not be scared. Once he actually hugged me. It was about a month ago. I cant stand his touch. It sickens me. I was weirded out for awhile and it affected my time with my husband. So its a serious problem if I let it take over. I'm trying really hard to forget it. My husband and I are doing really well and thats what matters. Umm..thats
it for now.