Ok so I started a blog on a few different sites. They are all the same. They have all of these posts and all of my non-bipolar posts. I really like hearing what others have to say. I'm very shy. I wish I was good at talking with people. When people comment on my posts it makes me so happy. Wow, somebody cares, somebody out there is just like me. Sometimes I want to cry with relief. I am not alone and everybody out there does not think that I'm crazy. But with my shyness I'm really horrible at replying and leaving comments. I never send friend requests. There are so many times that I read a post somebody wrote and its like I could have written that. I'd think, this person is so much like me its scary. But I dont leave a comment or anything. I think to myself: what would I say? would they care? will my comment just make them feel worse? Oh I wish I wasnt like this. Its no wonder I only have one friend. I wish I wasnt so shy.
Also, On another site I had a person suggest that I should write a book. Omg! I almost laughed. Their kidding right? They wrote it on 4 of my posts. I'm glad that person liked my writing. For me writing is a way to let my feelings out. Kinda like a diary only its public. I like to hear what others have to say. I have this same blog on multiple sites in order to get different people's input. But I dont think that I'm a good writer. I didnt even finish highschool. I most definetly dont think I can write a book. I have so many gaps in my memory and I'm way too ordinary. Besides I wouldnt even know how to do it or even worse I could have a relapse. Its only been a year since my last suicide attempt. I'm still fragile, maybe I always will be. Perhaps someone on this very site will write a book, maybe even more than one person. Yes, I've had bad experiences in my life but they do not even come close to the sad experiences of so many others. I feel stupid writing on these sites, feeling sorry for myself when so many others have been through so much more. I should be happy that I wasnt raped or physically abused...I never did drugs..never had a prob with alcohol. I cant even imagine how others must feel. Look at how bad my life is screwed up and just because my dad 'touched me' and was verbally cruel. That was most definetly a very silly idea. I never would have thought of that. Its was nice to know that someone liked my writing, though. How sweet.
Hi.
I do know what you mean by not being good enough to write a book, but if you have a good feeback from those who read you than they must see something you don't and maybe you should try and write a book without criticizing yourself.
I too was very shy and I had to stop caring what people would think of me so I could be my true self.
There is nothing wrong with you and when you accept yourself as you are then you will see how easy it is to comunicate with others.
Like yourself more and others will follow, don't worry about having more friends just how good they are.
All the best,
Alex