Okay so in my last post I spoke of my hospitalization after my 3rd (and hopefully final) suicide attempt. I was there Saturday May 2nd to Friday May 8th. I was free for four days. Four awful days. Let me explain. When I was out of the hospital I went to stay with my mother-in-law because my husband was angry with me. It was a very confusing four days because sometimes he was nice to me. He was the Bryan that I first married. And he kept asking me to come back home. But most of the time he was very angry. We argued a lot. He made me cry a lot. I was an emotional wreck. I didnt know if my marriage was over.

On Wednesday May 13th I had a pre-scheduled appointment with my therapist. I spoke to her honestly hoping that she could help me. Instead she baker acted me. I was in complete shock. I thought therapy was supposed to help me not lock me up. Any way, as soon as she told me what she was gonna do I started texting so people would know what was happening and wouldnt think I took off or something. I told everyone that I was going back to Manatee Memorial because thats what she told me. As soon as the policeman arrived he confiscated my phone. I had to ride in the back like a common criminal. I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd ever be in the back of a police car. The seats were hard and dirty. I did my best not to touch anything.then I looked out the window. It didnt take long before I realized that he wasnt taking me to Manatee Memorial Hospital. Oh God No! Pretty soon I was standing in front of Manatee Glens, my prison until yesterday.

I hated it there. I got there about noon. I had to wait in a very tiny room with lots of windows so they could watch me. The only thing in the room was two chairs. They brought me food. I dont know what it was. It looked like mush but tasted like chicken, maybe. There was no handle on the door, bars on the only window. No bathroom. I was trapped. I was in that tiny room until 6pm. Finally my real room was ready.

There was a plus. My aunt works there and she was on duty for the first two days that I was there. She was so nice to me. She bought me chocolate and sodas. She gave me her sweater since I was cold. She was nice and she was supportive. She and I had long talks. She is very spiritual so she reminded me that God will always love me. I felt a void on the days that she wasnt there.

I also made friends there. There was Sawyer the firefighter. She really shoulnt have been there. Her friends had her baker acted just because she was depressed one day and they knew she owned guns. There was also Marvin. He was there for anger management. He didnt seem angry to me, tho. He was the sweetest. He was just dealt a bad blow. Then there was William. Apparrantly his daughters grew up with Bryan. I've met them before briefly. I've never met him, though. Well, I guess he's Bipolar just like me. Thats what cost him his marriage 20 years ago. He's a very nice man , though. He's the same religion as me so he was a great asset. We talked a lot about God.