Information and opinions on Bipolar from bb4205 at BipolarConnect.com. The HealthCentral Network, Inc. (www.HealthCentral.com) is one of the top health destinations on the Web, with more than 35 condition-specific, wellness and general health Web properties. http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/406881 http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/406881/rss self application/xml en-us 15 120 19 http://www.healthcentral.com/images/hc_logo_sm.gif http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/406881 http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/406881/92056/good Sat, 24 Oct 2009 20:25:37 -0400 bb4205 I havent been on here in like forever. As noted in a previous post I tend to only write when I'm upset or having problems. But the last couple months I've actually been doing good. I think I'm finally on the right med combo: lamictal and seroquel. I finally found a new psychatrist. I think she's really good, really knows what shes talking about. She's not just about meds, she actually wants to help me. She said shes going to help me recognize... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/406881/92056/good http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/406881/86266/visit-thyroid-doc Thu, 10 Sep 2009 16:18:11 -0400 bb4205 I finally saw the endocrinologist that my primary doctor referred me to. She was really nice. She did an ultrasound of my neck. She said she saw a nodule.She wants to do a biopsy but said that I shouldnt worry. She said its probaly benign. So I wasnt worried. She said I had 2 choices: do the biopsy right away or wait 6 months. I told her to wait the 6 months. Maybe by then we wont have to do it at all. I figured it was no big deal. But when I... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/406881/86266/visit-thyroid-doc http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/406881/83496/i-m-ok-really Wed, 19 Aug 2009 18:48:06 -0400 bb4205 Wow. I dont even know where to begin. I just read all the comments from my last post. It seems everyone is extremely worried about me. But I want to assure everyone that I'm fine. I tend to only write on my bad days since this is my way of venting. Unfortunetly, this means that you dont get to see me on my good days, or at least on my ok days. Last couple weeks I feel ok..not at all suicidal and only slightly depressed. Yes, death has been on my... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/406881/83496/i-m-ok-really http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/406881/82963/should-have-will Sat, 15 Aug 2009 22:29:43 -0400 bb4205 I've been thinking about this alot since I came out of the hospital this last time. I've had 4 suicide attempts so far. Sometimes I wonder if I will make it to 30. I dont really have money but I have a few material possessions. Mostly I am thinking about what they should do with my body. I've been thinking about it for awhile. This is what I want: I dont want a funeral. I want to be cremated. This will be a big issue with my family. I have a... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/406881/82963/should-have-will http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/406881/82960/controlling Sat, 15 Aug 2009 22:16:11 -0400 bb4205 Its been almost 2 weeks since the incident with my sister. I'm doing better than I was that night but I still cant get ahold of my emotions. Last Sunday was a really bad day. I wont say much because I dont want to hurt any ones feelings.It started out out with me being really tired. I just wanted to be left alone and spend my day in peace. But my loved ones seemed to think there was more to it. I felt like I was trapped, like I was letting... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/406881/82960/controlling http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/406881/81365/forever-shattered Wed, 05 Aug 2009 01:46:03 -0400 bb4205 I cant sleep. Every time I close my eyes bad things happen. Earlier tonight the worst thing  happened. My entire world shattered. My sister who I loved dearly hasnt spoken to me or come near me since I started to discover I was/ am biplar.I've been hospitalized 4 times now. She hasnt been there for me for any of them. Then out of the blue today she texted me. Yes. I was so happy. Maybe, finally we could start mending our relationship.... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/406881/81365/forever-shattered http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/406881/81068/good-day Sun, 02 Aug 2009 22:57:44 -0400 bb4205 Why cant I have 1 good day. Today was going great. Iwent to church , then to my parents' house for a barbecue. great day. mood very good. The on the way home my husband made a comment that lately I snore like a pig. I never used to snore but when I started lamictal I got nasal congestion as a side effect. It never went away. My husband normally wears ear plugs and we both sleep well. But today Bryan made the comment that I snore like a pig. He... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/406881/81068/good-day http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/406881/80915/mania-disaster Sat, 01 Aug 2009 12:09:02 -0400 bb4205 Well I just got out of the hospital yesterday after a week. I guess I shouldnt be surprised. Cutting myself shouldve been a major sign that I was going in a very bad direction. I have never cut myself before and could never quite understand why anyone would want to do that to themself.  But then one day I decided to do it just to see if I could. Stupid, I kno. I wasnt even depressed..just a passing whim. Well  the very next day another... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/406881/80915/mania-disaster http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/406881/80108/cutting Sun, 26 Jul 2009 19:48:48 -0400 bb4205 wow! I finally did it. I cut myself today. Like I said I've been thinking about that alot this week but I've never actually did it. But today I did. It didnt hurt too much. But it did bleed. It was kinda cool. http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/406881/80108/cutting http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/406881/80064/manic Sun, 26 Jul 2009 11:56:14 -0400 bb4205 I keep forgetting to write. Too tired, too lazy.I've been a little off this week. Maybe manic?? I dont kno. I'm still getting used to this illness. Dont kno what to expect most days. I find myself thinking of taking pills or cutting myself. I dont feel suicidal. I just want to do it to see what it feels like. Is that weird?Another thing is the shopping urge is back really strong. I bought 6 computer games. I told my husband I bought two. Dont... http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/406881/80064/manic