The lawyer called today to inform me that the separation papers are ready to be signed. This is not want I had wanted. I loved my husband, I still do. BUT...looking back on our 20 year marriage, I realise it was based on falsehoods. I believed i could change him, contol him (unheathy on my part)....he was irresponsible, selfish and extremely immature.
I came from a highly dysfunctional family. My father was a cold unfeeling man, my mother a paranoid schizophrenic.... it is a miracle that i have not inherited this genetic mental illness, all other women in the extended family have it.
Our marriage was not a heathy one...I wanted someone needy, he needed a mother. This ending of our bond is for the best. I hate that we could not make it work but we had no foundation to work from. I hope that he and i will both heal over time.
Group members................Thank you all for your words and encouragement...........
I have always believed that an unconditional Love flows freely from a mutual trust and respect two people have in each other. When you don't have love (trust & respect) at the core of your marriage, then you have nothing.
You have struggled with so many issues in your life and to have made it to this point you must be a strong, resilient person. Girl, you have reached the light at the end of the tunnel and now you're stronger for having done it. Now you're free to live life to it's fullest on your terms -- for yourself and for your boys. Best of luck to you, honey, now and always.
YOU GO GIRL !!
Rosebud