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Finding Legal Support for a Son With Bipolar Disorder

By G.J. Gregory Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Last Thursday my wife had to take a daughter to a dance recital dress rehearsal, and I went alone to the NAMI support group meeting. I don’t mind doing this, even though my wife is the one people gravitate towards, she’s so open and caring. I’m the science experiment people generally keep at arms length. There was one thing I wanted to accomplish, and I did accomplish it. We wanted a name of an attorney that Kyle and my wife and I could consult, and I got two names.

Kyle has had contact with attorneys in the past for a few things. He got a job one time shoveling snow for a snow-removal company. His first day they kept him out so long he suffered severe frostbite in his feet. This was yet another way medical bills have piled up for him. He got an attorney and got some money for that, but it didn’t cover his medical bills. He was able to handle the early part of this process, but somewhere along the way, he just couldn’t do any more, couldn’t return calls, answer correspondence or make a visit. He just couldn’t do it. This is not uncommon, he has great intentions but his condition just won’t allow him to follow through on many things. And because he’s an adult, they can’t release information to us without his permission. By the time we realize we need to secure that permission, he’s so manic about the entire situation we don’t get anywhere. Things eventually just get dropped.

We are gathering information now for our next “attack.” We want to take him to an attorney, and have him sign right up front that we are eligible to receive information, and to make decisions with respect to this scenario. We are concerned first about his health. He has health issues that absolutely need to be addressed, and we need to figure out a way to get him the care he needs. Next, we are going to try and get bankruptcy proceedings started. His medical bills and the intimidating collection mail and calls he receives are quite stressful to him. We are going to try to convince him to apply for disability. He doesn’t want to do that, but I think it’s in his best interest at this time. Finally, we’ll talk about civil action against the kid who beat him so badly and fractured his skull.

Now we have to figure out how and when to approach him with this. His older brother graduates from college soon. He feels bad about this, he’s proud for his brother, but it’s hard for him to handle. His younger brother graduates from high school soon after, and Kyle feels bad about this also. We had a big party planned for Kyle on his high school graduation, but he ended up in jail and his party got cancelled. Thirty days later just didn’t seem like the time for a graduation party.

We need to keep him safe and keep tabs on him for the next three weeks or so. After that we’ll have more time to devote to this process and his problems. I hope he makes it that long without a major problem.


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Anonymous
The Queen
5/ 9/06 7:53pm
Jon-Thanks for sharing all the info you share. I will be catching up on your blog this week. **************************************************** Thanks Queen! With my recent schedule I haven't made blog rounds myself for a while. I appreciate you stopping by and leaving a comment! GJ
Anonymous
Sharla
5/10/06 8:59am
Kyle should be able to get disability without a problem. I hope the attorney can help him; the problem you'll have with Kyle is the problem many bi-polars have: they just don't want to admit they are not in control of themselves. ********************************************************* Sharla - That's his attitude exactly. Of course, that is sometimes my attitude also. As to disability, in his mind that's admitting failure. And I'm not sure how to handle that. I don't want to hold myself up as an example, my bipolar doesn't seem to be nearly as severe as his. That's a challenge we're constantly facing. Thanks for stopping by commenting, it's much appreciated. GJ
Anonymous
Anonymous
12/11/09 12:23pm
I applied for disability for my 24 year old son. He didn't want it either. He said it made him feel like a loser. Be prepared for a LONG process. My son has been turned down twice now. The attorney we went to said she didn't think she could help us because he won't keep his dr. appointments very well. It's the nature of the disease. They sent him for a psychological evaulation. The attorney told me that a score of 50 or lower proved that he couldn't work. He scored a 50. Unfortunately, it's not admissable in a disability hearing. We are back to square one.
Anonymous
Lori Williams
5/22/06 2:50pm
Oh my gosh! My son is now 24 years old and was diagnosed at age 15 with bipolar disorder and prescribed Lithium. He has just about taken my husband and I to the cleaners in various legal fees and medical expenses. We don't have the funds to continue to help Brian who is now 24 years old. Brian has been tested and confirmed that he is the father of an 8-month old baby who, because of suspicions that he was our grandchild, has been a part of mine and my husband's life since his birth. I have provided all his Pampers and clothing, crib, and other baby items. The baby's mother is receiving a check from the government and has also been provided milk for the baby. Now, the child support agency is coming after Brian, who because of his disorder has never held a job down for more than a few months, and making him responsible for a child that he is not capable of taking care of. The mother is not able to take care of him either but loves him and wants to do the best she can so she opted against adoption, abortion, the morning after pills and all the contraceptives in the world. It is amazing to me all the choices that a woman has to say, "oops, I made a mistake..." but when a guy, particularly one who is mentally disabled, makes a mistake, there is NO mercy in his favor and he has NO say so. We desperately need some advice so if anyone has any legal advice at all, please advise. It is challenging enough being the parent of one of these children, but to have to constantly battle these types of situations is almost more than one can bear. P.S. Brian has not filed for disability yet but we were going to start looking at that but just don't quite know how to go about it. ********************************************************* Lori, I understand 100%. We're lucky enough to have escaped much of what you are going through, but I do understand how you are there, and your desire to do what you can. You absolutely need legal help. I'd ask around, perhaps like we did at a NAMI meeting, for bipolar knowledeable and friendly attorneys. But I wouldn't hesitate. Normally you won't pay for an initial consultation, so use it to your benefit. You might also look at legal aid organizations for your son. I wish there were more words of wisdom I could offer. GJ Note from the Producer: Hi Lori, It sounds like you've encountered a number of challenges in raising a son with bipolar disorder, and we are all grateful that you've shared your experiences with us. If you'd like to get involved with the site by sharing your story, please email me at support@bipolar-connection.com. Best wishes and I look forward to hearing from you, Emily

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By G.J. Gregory— Last Modified: 12/07/10, First Published: 05/09/06