Thoughts About The Omaha Shooting

By G.J. Gregory Friday, December 07, 2007

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Yesterday there was a news story about a boy that was arrested for making “terroristic threats”. Evidently he was a friend of the deceased shooter, and lashed out at a fellow student for making disparaging remarks about his friend. The police confiscated guns (no assault weapons) from the teen’s family, and arrested him on felony charges. I concede that the response by the student was totally inappropriate, and he should pay the consequences for his remark. But a felony? I guess we’ll have to expect kneejerk reactions for the time being.

Similar to after the Virginia Tech shootings, the “experts” come out of the woodwork and some of their comments are maddening. I’ve heard it said the shooting occurred because of the teen’s past anti-depressant use. I’ve heard it said that there must have been abuse happening, as this couldn’t have happened otherwise. The state of Nebraska, wishing to cover their behind, immediately jumped in telling everyone how much they spent on his care. Everyone is second-guessing the parents and the parenting of this kid. People are looking for a reason, and they’re not going to find a single reason. This young man had recently been arrested, broke up with his girlfriend, and lost his job at McDonalds. He felt totally worthless, and said so in his "goodbye" letter. I can’t imagine the poor kid’s pain and torment. As horrific as the outcome, at it’s core it was a young person dealing with incomprehensible pain and inner demons.

Once again, this is not the post I hoped to write, but its scattered nature is exactly where my head is. My heart goes out to the vicitims, to their families and friends. To have life ended as a random act of violence defies logic and understanding. My heart goes out to the shooter, to his family and friends. I can only imagine the torture they'll be facing the rest of their lives wondering if they could have done anything to prevent this. And to the community, may we all work together to find a way to heal. Omaha didn't deserve this, but nobody ever does.

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connieh1965

12/ 7/07 6:54pm

I had alot of the same feelings and still do, I feel like ..Why wasn`t he on meds..The woman who took him in was a nurse..all the signs were there.. I do not blame her at all don`t get me wrong and I am sorry for the victems and the shooter and their familys.. I pray that God will open some peoples eyes to the need for more support in the mental health field.. Get some rest and Im glad your able to cope.. thanks for sharing your thoughts. Connie

G.J. Gregory

12/ 7/07 7:41pm

connie - Thanks for your comment. You're right, we need more mental health support. It sounds like several people stepped in and tried to help this boy, who knows why he snapped the way he did, or what would have made a difference in the outcome of his life.

Thanks for your concern, I'm hoping to be able to get some sleep this weekend.

rich

12/ 7/07 6:57pm

As usual, people are saying control the guns. Hmmm, why not get people the right help, like mental health care that really works? Its an epidemic, and until we recognize it its only going to get worse with more of these. Hey, what about the 30,000 plus people killed yearly by drunk drivers? How about the addicts and the damage they incurr? What about the homeless, with mental health issues. Mental health care is so, important, yet we cringe and deny theres problems.

G.J. Gregory

12/ 7/07 7:51pm

Rich,

What a great comment. You are so right, and what a powerful way to look at that.

Thanks for weighing in.

Beth P.

12/ 8/07 10:36am

gregory:

i share your emotions regardin the shootin. my heart goes out to all. i can't even imagine the pain that robert was feelin for him to take the actions he did. all we can do is keep all in our thoughts & prayers.

beth

Beth P.

12/ 8/07 10:40am

i also just thought about the incident that happened at the Hillary Clinton's campaign office where the individual took hostages & he did it becuz he wanted candidates to do something about mental illness - - i saw the piece on CNN & my heart just broke for him.

beth

G.J. Gregory

12/10/07 11:46am

Beth,

Thanks so much for your comments.

Experiencing mental health issues forever changes a person. Whether we face it ourselves, or have a close loved one experience mental health challenges, we emerge different people. Your compassion towards the pain being felt by the shooter is not shared by many. But it's universally shared by the commenters here. Not that we condone the actions by any stretch, but we're capable of understanding the mental anguish being felt.

Thanks again for your comments, and I hope hear from you again in the future.

Hopeful mom

12/ 8/07 3:28pm

Jeff Foxworthy once said he wants some criminal to stand up there and say, "My mom was great. My dad was great. I'm just a ****head."

People do wacked out things. Our therapist states that brain chemistry is a very mysterious thing. Nobody know exactly what goes on in the brain or what causes certain behavior.

This young man may not have had a mental illness. He may have never been abused.

He may have just "snapped".

That's the scariest idea of all because it means we're all susceptible.

Sometimes there's just no reasoning to it.

G.J. Gregory

12/10/07 11:53am

Hopeful Mom,

More information is coming out, it seems this young man began treatment for depression beginning at age 6. That scares me. I won't go so far as to say it was inappropriate, but the side effects of anti-depressants on young people can be life-threatening.

But I do believe that myself, and perhaps others like me, don't know what we're capable of. When the psychosis hits who's to say I wouldn't do something.

Thanks for reading, and for taking the time to leave a comment.

Eric

12/ 9/07 5:32am

What bothers me G.J. is the fact that the news media seems to be on a mental illness kick. Everything that goes on in this world that’s horrific and devastating is now being portrayed as this person is or was mentally ill. I don’t know about you, but I am sick and tired of being lumped together as a group (mentally ill) of we are all are killers and need to be put away for life.

What I read in the news is a push by our great media to take any and all rights away from us. What is the long term consequence of this crap written? Most people that really could benefit from mental health care will not seek treatment for fear of loosing individual rights and it’s a valid concern.

It wasn’t that long ago that we as a society dropped our loved ones off at a mental asylum to be locked away for years and be heavily medicated. They had no rights and doctors did as they wished to these people. They were considered a threat to society.

Do some people need to be in these types of places for their own good? Sure, but that’s a small part of the population. What happened close to you is tragic. I am sure it was a shock to the community that something like this could ever happen and where were all the stop losses (mental health care) suppose to be in place to make such an event could even be possible.

My heart goes out to the families involved, even the family and caregivers of the boy. Once question that I can’t seem to get out of my mind after reading and listening to the story of this tragic event, is….did the medications the boy was on push him into a paranoid delusional state?

Are we really ready to medicate our kids with adult medications without any long term studies of their effects?

G.J. Gregory

12/10/07 12:35pm

Eric,

You hit on so many good points.

I agree with you on the medication concerns. What are the long-term effects of adult anti-depressants on a child? Plus, how many kids stay med compliant? If they start and stop these kids will be on a trampoline.

I also agree with you on the mental health witch hunt. Not only from the outside, but also from our own community. It's like we take a step forward with respect to public education and perception of mental health issues, then a step back when something like this happens.

Thanks for your thought-provoking comment.

ctrygirl

12/ 9/07 7:55pm

Dearest GJ,

Thank you for posting this sharepost...I know it was very difficult for you to put into words what was occurring around you and yet it is so important for us all to be aware of the tragedies going on about us, for without awareness we are lost.

It is such a heartwrenching story to even read about much less all the mass media that continues to beat and beat and beat at the door of judgement on those with mental illnesses....what they do not seem to realize is that we are all a step away from instability, even those that are reporting this and creating even worse stigmas than what we are already burdened with. But the piousness of thinking it is always someone touched by mental illness is rather sickening to me for so many just actually LOSE it...yes, perhaps at that moment they are mentally challenged but to lump all together as mentally ILL is quite another thing...well, and to NOT research and try to empathize or understand the TRUE issues of mental illness is rather a biased formed of media in my personal opinion...

My heart so goes out to all those in your area and to those all around this great nation who are suffering, needing, crying out for understanding and the families that feel so utterly helpless in their ability to help those they love as they experience these things......

i too am rather rambling and probably not making much sense here, but GJ i so had to reach out to you for you have been so inspirational to me, have lifted my spirits when i so needed it, and befriended so many here that need it so desperately...I am so sorry that this is so "close to home" for you and it certainly shakes us up when these tragedies are so close to our own homeplaces..

I live in a very quiet little town, yet we have had quite a few tragedies that are utterly senseless and tragic for all....the shootings that were taking place in Charleston WV, Columbus Oh from the freeways and highways....one was right down the road from my grandmother who was living alone as a widow at the time.The man caught in Columbus Ohio ready to empty a vial of toxicity into the water system.... Oh I could go on.....but needlessly so for I certainly don't have the answers, I just so feel we need to increase awareness of mental illness and i wish i had the power to do so....

But please remember dear GJ that you do make a difference, every single day of your life with your family and with this site....you are a special soul, hold on dear friend....hold on....

AND just yesterday my husband and I had to be a part of a decision to turn off a the respirator that was keeping his sister alive...she is now wrapped in angel's wings, forever with the KING.....some things are just so unbelievably hard to understand and endure...and i still don't get it, the majority of life itself...

so like you i'm just putting down some thoughts here....turmoil, sorrow, pain, and anquish so many places....yet miracles occuring everyday and the PROMISE....the promise...never loose site of that dear friend.

keep that head up GJ and post all you can to get it out...we are here for you as YOU have been here for so many of us.

SINCERELY and with love

ctrygirl

G.J. Gregory

12/10/07 12:58pm

Thanks Ctrygirl for your kind words. I always love hearing from you.

You hit on something that has bothered me for a while, and we seem to agree on this. I don't consider bipolar disorder a mental illness. It's a mood disorder. A disorder, whether physical or mental can be life-changing, but is not necessarily an illness. In my opinion, bipolar disorder falls under the mental health umbrella, but is not a mental illness.

I don't think anyplace is safe from things like this. And while the majority of mass shootings occur in the US, other countries are not immune either. France, Switzerland, England, even Canada has had mass shootings in the last 20 years. I don't know what the solution is, I have some ideas, but no answers.

Thanks again for your comments, you have a way of brightening my day.

tempestuous harmony

12/10/07 1:17am

i am sorry to hear it hit so close to home, and for all those suffering....

G.J. Gregory

12/10/07 1:03pm

Thanks, TH for your comment.

cgoehring78

12/10/07 3:58pm

Greg, I understand your pain and the sadness and shock of the people of Omaha and Nebraska.

I grew up in Wheat Ridge, a suburb next to Arvada where the Youth With a Mission shootings took place this weekend. I lived in Arvada for many years and spent a lot of time in that area. Not long after the YWAM killings, more shootings were reported at the New Life Christian Church in Colorado Springs, about 2 hours from Arvada. I spent much of my young adulthood in Colorado Springs.

Not that many years ago, the Columbine shootings took place here in Colorado.

I know your sadness and I also know your desire to have an explanation for the acts that took place. We may never have that explanation and you and I and many others may never feel that sadness or be able to purge our feelings...or maybe we will. Sometimes just knowing has to be enough.

Cindy

G.J. Gregory

12/11/07 11:35am

Cindy,

Thanks for your comment. You folks in Colorado have really had it rough. My heart goes out to everyone in your area, including the victims and the shooter.

Angie

12/10/07 9:03pm

I'm just getting to you, GJ. My pc has been down. I watched this young man's friends on the Today show, and all they could say was what a smart, kind, and quiet person he was. How he loved his animals and never showed any signs of violence before.

I think you did a fine job expressing your feelings about this tragedy, especially since it had such a personal resonance. You mentioned feeling like crying, but being unable to. I have that with my meds, and it used to worry me because I could cry over a dog food commercial before. Now I feel insulated against such sensitivity. And I found out I could still cry when my kids do something that really stresses me out. The stimulus to shed real tears has become much more selective.

Angie

PS:

(And in my opinion, Avril Lavigne is a poseur-wannabe-pseudo-punk diva. Nancy Spungen should haunt her sorry talentless a** forever.) --A.

G.J. Gregory

12/11/07 11:41am

Angie - I don't think anyone else could post to a thread like this and make me laugh, but you did. Your comments on Avril Lavigne are great. I won't express them around home and upset my daughter. She thinks she's beyond Hannah Montana, and it could be worse, it could be Britney Spears.

Thanks as always for your comments.

polarlight

12/11/07 1:55am

Another bad day for Mental Health people looking like lunatics it seems to go with the territory .I am from Canada ,and we have a sprinkling of voilent issues here that seem to be linked to culture and the high end landed immigrants,most of ours are unfortunatly from the East Indian community and there have been some horrific things that have happened to their community and their relatives.I am sorry though when a shooting like this happens in a community that otherwise keeps to it own ,I am sorry for the parents of that boy my Gawd what a thing to have to live with plus all the survivors of the innocent.I think the only thing left to do is pray and try to understand it was another act of random voilence. The gun man was very young and

he did snap and he did do the worst thing imaginable and in his mind he felt he had a right ?But what torture was this guy going through?What right did he have ?NONE as far I could see and how much buried anger did he possess to stand on a balcony at a local mall and open fire who the **** did he think he was? And what kind of stuff did he put into his head(MUSIC,PICTURES,MOVIES)in order to get the nerve to go out on a shooting spree in order to kill innocent people who were not harming him in any way shape or form.It is spooky and I cannot put him into the mental health arena I think that is the evil one and God help his soul ......I agree with Eric the world can look at the Mental Health issues as everybody gets classed into the same egg carton.Terrible day but the light at the end of the of the tunnel if you believe,trust and have faith. The people who died are out of danger and with a loving God who I believe will judge this according to his mercies.All the survivors can do now is grieve a terrible loss and overcome through Grace.I think the gun laws in the states should be looked into carefully and the buying and selling of weapons should not be so easily accessable to the youth.But I guess if they want fire arms they can get them anyway it is a crazy time on planet earth and safety and honour are around the corner but what lurks beneath is **** right sad.I wonder where all this is heading to I guess the only thing you can do is pray. Polarlight Innocent

G.J. Gregory

12/11/07 11:56am

Polarlight,

I greatly admire your country, the open and accepting nature of the people, the socially liberal (by USA standards) mindsets, and many of your laws and policies.

You asked what the young man put in his head in order to snap like he did. While I question if it's as simple as modern media, that may very well be a part of the equation. If you go 2 miles past the mall on the same road you come to the historic Father Flanagan's Boystown (now Girls and Boys Town). Why didn't things like this happen in Father Flanagan's time?

Thanks for your thought-provoking comment.

sam

12/11/07 1:14pm

I don't understand why you lost respect for Aviril. Why was she so emotional? Was it because of the shooting? Please clarify that for me. thanks

G.J. Gregory

12/11/07 1:40pm

Sam,

It was because she seemed to put her own feelings above those of her audience. The audience REALLY needed an escape, and as a performer she could have done MUCH better than she did.

Thanks for reading, and taking the time to leave a comment.

sam

12/12/07 10:24am

I see your point. But, if I have learned anything from being bipolar; it is, that it is very unfair to judge someone according to my ablitlities or feelings. It could be that she was doing the best she could. Have you ever spoke in front a large crowd and lost it emotionally? I have. It didn't make sense, but I felt powerless to get my emotions under control. I was speaking about something that happened to me in

the past and when I wrote the speech had no clue that I would react the way I did. I am sure the people at the concert needed something, (we went through an identical situation in our community recently. My son lived two blocks from the shooting......)but to expect Aviril to be something that she couldn't be at that time is not fair. She is young and after all a performer not a psychologist. I don't know much about her, my kids never really got into her music; but perhaps you had unfair expectations. I wish you the best it your greiving. We found that trying to understand why didn't really help in the healing process. Forgiveness was truely the key. Assigning blame fostered negative feelings which made it difficult to move on. Did you read about the killings of the Amish girls? That is quite a remarkable example of true Christian behavior. They took in the family of the shooter in and greived with them. They attended his funeral and gave them life giving support. It would horrific to be in the shoes of these family members.

As a side note, I read that the percent of mentally ill committing such crimes is equal to the percent of non-mentally ill people. The media, which is as you know is very negative likes to harp on anything that will bring ratings. Take care and God bless you and your community. sam

G.J. Gregory

12/12/07 12:53pm

Sam,

I admire your compassion, and your willingness to give the benefit of the doubt in this case. These are behaviors I aspire to myself, although too-often unsuccessfully.

Thanks for your comments,

Tambrey

12/21/07 12:20am

We live about 90 miles north of Omaha, so yeah, near enough to really affect us as well...

And too close to home as I see how my own 17 year old son can rage when he is out of control and not on meds...

Of course I feel great sorrow for the families of those who were killed and injured, possibly disabled for life...

But I think I feel greater sorrow for the young man and his family...for all that could have been...what was his potential if his life had gone differently for him...

No one will ever know...and I pray that even though he left in a rage of terror...that people can learn and that his death will not be for naught...that somehow...some way...something good can come from this...for the kids of the future who are living with similar demons, but also have lifelong desires and hopes and dreams that keep getting dashed away by those same demons...

I pray that someone will reach out to these kids...the young adults...and help them...

G.J. Gregory

12/21/07 7:25am

A perfect comment, I can't add a thing.

Thanks Tambrey.

Thoughts About The Omaha Shooting

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