Support Groups

We’ve all written about bipolar support groups from time to time here on BipolarConnect. John McManamy has some great blogs and insight from his experiences in support groups, and has written a great column on this. It’s my personal opinion that everyone suffering from bipolar disorder should be attending a support group of one sort or another. If you’re doing well, you will function as a model to others who are not doing so well. If you’re slipping, you’ll get support from others. One way or the other it can be incredibly helpful.

There are many places you can begin researching support groups that may meet in your area, at least in the US. For those outside the US, perhaps you can contribute to the Community Connection portion of our message board and tell us of resources in your area. But for those in the US, I would start with the Support Group section of the DBSA (Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance) web site. Another good resource is the State and Local page of the NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill website. Often local NAMI chapters offer support groups.

So you’ve located a meeting in your vicinity. What next? The most difficult thing for me was walking into a room of strangers with the intent of declaring myself “not normal”. This was incredibly hard. With a little luck you’ll have a chapter where you’re made to feel welcome. My DBSA chapter, for all their strong points, does nothing to make people feel welcome. So a new person can walk in, and nobody greets them or tells them they’re in the right place. But remember the people there have mood disorders just like us, and it’s as difficult for them to approach you as it is for you to approach them. So come in, take a seat, and sit the meeting through. By the end of the meeting, you’ll feel MUCH more comfortable, I guarantee.

There may be a short business meeting, perhaps a speaker, presentation, or video. Then the important part, the support groups. If it’s like most chapters, you’ll have a group for caregivers or loved ones, and one for “consumers”, or those suffering from a mood disorder. Follow the crowd into the support group room, and get comfortable. They will go around the room and everyone can introduce themselves. First names are all that is required, and no personal information need be revealed. This brings us to the cardinal rule of support groups, “What is said there and who you see there stays there.” This is not, under ANY circumstance, to be broken. This isn’t to say if you see someone from your group at the grocery store you can’t shake their hand and ask, in general terms, how they are doing. But keep it very general.

Next, your facilitator will begin the discussion. A skilled facilitator will be able to make everyone comfortable in speaking, but with a minimal amount of personal input. They may ask a question or two to draw you out, but they are not there to give advice, and are not there to ask questions. If you want advice, specifically ask the group a question. An experienced facilitator will know how much time to allow to each person so that everyone gets a chance to speak, and that the last people to speak aren’t rushed. Please respect your facilitator’s instructions and their attempts to keep the discussion flowing in an orderly manner.