Sing, Scream or Cry? Comparing Hypomania, Mania and Depression

HYPOMANIA..I love all my Pets

Mania....  I cant stand my pets

Depression.. lets get rid of all these pets.

 

HYPOMANIA..i LOVE THIS jOB.

MANIA.... What Am I doing this job for??

Depression...         i hate the thought of leaving for work at my worthless job..

 

   That was kinda fun..thanks G J Gregory.. 

Hi,

Great post! Thought I'd add some stuff that has happened to me.  

 

Hypomania...I am going to make a meal for my hubby that he will rave about to all his friends. I am going to search every cookbook on the planet to find the best recipe ever because my hubby works so hard and deserves it. No one can cook like me.

Mania...Great...I worked all day and now I have to figure out what to throw together for a meal that everyone in the house is going to say stinks. I know they are going to hate it and tell everyone behind my back that I can't cook. I hate cooking.  

Depression...The hamburg is rotting, the milk has expired and I want to also. 

 

Hypomania...I am the best employee this company has ever had. No one can get the job done as well as me. Everyone...look at me!!!

Mania...Get out of my line with your screaming kid you ungrateful piece of slime! God, I can't stand working with these people!

Depression...Maybe I should just call out again...no one will notice if I am there or not anyway.

 

Hypomania...I have to vacuum the entire house again even though I did it just fifteen minutes ago. I enjoy cleaning over and over again...it's relaxing.

Mania...For crying out loud...there is a piece of lint on the rug! I might as well just throw out this piece of junk vacuum! Am I the only one that is bothered by that piece of lint? What is wrong you people? I hate whoever placed that piece of lint where I could find it!

Depression...I want to suck out my brain with the vacuum.

 

Hypomania...I am going to make all of the kids beautiful scrapbooks for Christmas and they will tell everyone how creative I am and no one else can make a nicer gift than I can. 

Mania...Ok, who hid the glue on me? Where is the glue? I need the darn glue now so hand it over before I throw everything from the cabinets onto the floor! What? Did the darn vacuum suck it up? 

Depression...No one will appreciate the scrapbooks anyway so why bother?

 

Hypomania...My dog may be old but I just love to stay up with him all night having him sit on the couch with me while I watch tv. I can't get enough of him and we both lose sleep together.

Mania...Stupid old dog. All he does is shed on the rugs and furniture. I wish we could just put him down. He never leaves me alone.

Depression...He's old and sick. What am I going to do without him? I am going to be lost without him. I know he's going to die soon.

 

Hypomania...I'm back in school. I am on the Dean's list every semester. I have to be on the Dean's list! I am studying every waking minute. Look what a great student I am! 

Mania...Stupid Professor. Why did I get an A minus? I deserved an A. It's the Professor's fault I got an A minus. That teacher doesn't like me and I don't like her. She's an idiot.

Depression...I don't feel like taking those last 3 classes for my degree. I can't concentrate so what's the point? I'll never be anybody anyway. I give up.

H:  You are right on target.  Good Job, Jon.

 

M:  I couldn't finish reading your post.  Next?

 

D:  I'll maybe go on the Internet later.  Leave me alone. 

 

 

Hypo:  I am going to make this rag rug in one day

              and it's going to look great!

Uh....left off with rag rug...hmmmm sign of hypomania too anxious to finish post before sending?????hmmm

 

okay to complete the thought

 

Mania: this rag rug will only get stepped on, ruined or otherwise come apart no doubt but I'm going to go for it anyway and get it done in record time.

 

Depression:  who cares if the floor is covered or not?

Hypomania: I know that dream was prophetic, I know it is trying to tell me something I must SHARE WITH THE WORLD

 

Mania; Oh no one would listen anyway so what is the point in trying to share it with anyone, no one listens or understands but me

 

Depression:  It doesn't mean a thing, just my freaky mind working overtime.

 

 

Hypomania: I am dressed and ready to go, dressed, groomed, waiting at the door, come on, come on, let's go go go what is taking you so long?.

 

Mania; Why can't anyone move a little faster?? No one cares that I have to be somewhere ON TIME regardless if its 1 hour early they should want to get me there when I want to get there!

 

Depression:  Who cares if I make it there or not, I'm tired. Just forget it.

 

 

Hypomania:  I can use my education to change other people's stigmas about many things for i have so much knowledge on the topic i am interested in that they can't deny my statements or ideas, I'll be a hit and the world will change it's views.

 

Mania: NO ONE IS LISTENING< OR perhaps I'm not getting the point across completely but never the less i will continue to call, write, and contact them to be sure, over and over and over......

 

Depression: Who cares if anyone listens or not, they're all doomed anyway.

 

 

Hypomania; Showered, shampooed, makeup in place, ready for the family visit.

 

Mania:  I can't go I have to do this and that here at home and get it done NOW if i don't i'll never have the energy later to complete it, oh well, that would just add to the other 20 i haven't completed, i have to stay, no go, no stay, no finish product, no go visit my family.

 

Depression:  Why would I want to even go out in public? Why would I want to be with others?? I would only bring them down anyway.

 

 

 

Hypomania;  My words can change the world's views on many things because i've had divine intervention tell me these things.

 

Mania:  I have to record these thoughts and statements as soon as possible, as many as possible, and as clearly as possible and collect all i can on the topic.

 

Depression; no one will read them, no one cares what i have to say, and they wouldn't understand it anyway. Who cares???

 

 

 

Hypo; I can't have just one window open on my computer i must scan at least 5 or 6 in order to get it all taken in, I must gain knowledge on this and that, i must reach out to all I know and SHARE all this information, MUST learn something new each day and I've only learned 2 new things today!!!.

 

Mania; I can't concentrate to focus on the websites i have pulled up and they are so full of information I am overwhelmed yet can't quit pulling up more and  more information. I have to concentrate, but mind keeps wandering off....

 

Depression:  computer?? who wants to take the energy to type?

 

 

 

Hypo: Sleep? Who needs sleep? If I sleep I'm wasting time I could be doing something else...

 

Mania;  Gosh I wish I could shut off my mind and go to sleep

 

Depression;  will i ever get enough sleep to renew my energy?

 

 

Hypo;  Pace, Pace, Wring hands, Hurry hurry I want to be the first one at group, why are you taking so long to put on your shoes, how long does it take to get your coat???? Here let me help you, let me tie those for you, let me get the door, here we go....... 

 

Mania;  Pace, Wring hands, Worry I'll be late, Talk about it over and over and over until process is in progress AND along the way, DOES NO ONE CARE THAT I COULD BE LATE????.

 

Depression: there is NO way i'm going to group today for i'd have to sit up in the chairs and talk!!!!

 

Okay just some silly ways that I demonstrate the differences.....

I know in hypomania it is like tasmanian devil on SPEED and that goes for internal and external....and the idea that some of the things that seem revelations to me are PROPHETIC and divinely inspired...and whose to say they aren't???

In mania it is excessive energy, a lot of mind darting and pacing, and frustration and unexplained anger, and move move move, to the point where i can't even watch a movie without drawing, braiding rag rugs, doodling, or SOME activity, yet....NOTHING EVER GETS FINISHED!!

Depression for me is the lead weight of limbs, the drudgery of simply leaving my chair to use the latrine, the crying for no reason, the hopelessness of today, tomorrrow and the future, the deep and intense need for sleep, and weariness that no words can explain....

 

So , hope i did some justice to the various ways I experience the moods, for me HYPO is the hardest to explain for thoughts and actions and feelings are so rapid it is hard to recall them when you come down in detail...it is like FAST FORWARD On everything and if you don't retain easily, well, often hard to remember what all one did, or what all the thoughts were. Mania to me is the BEST the racing, the getting things done (partially) the ideas that spring from no where, the energy abounds and yet wearies.......and the depression the absolute bottom the barrel's end, the hopelessness, the weariness, the what's it all for feelings, and the AM I GOING TO BE THIS WAY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE feelings...

OKAY so mine weren't so uhm "good" as the others, but some ways I too experience this,

OH i so want to list what my journal documents as times...but uhm some of the hypo mania i'll keep to myself tehee...uhm hmmmm

 

GJ THANK YOU FOR THIS ONE< really makes one think on the issues at hand, what exactly are we like during these stages, something we rarely think of cause going through it, but good to reflect for it's what OTHERS see.....THANK you for being SOOOOOO creative all the time..

your friend,

ctrygirl

Excellent exercise of the mind - as I'm a little north of normal right now I actually felt like doing it.  Last night I actually slept 6.5 hours so I must be getting back to normal range.  I hadn't slept more than 3 hours the previous two nights but I stuck to my bedtime and awake time schedule and it seems to be turning around.  I don't feel bug eyed today and I'm not grinding my teeth.  But I'm still talking a mile a minute whether to a real person or just to my self or the computer.  I hope my professor doesn't call today to do Mode 1 review but I'm double glad she didn't call yesterday.  Also, I went on a job interview Monday and wowed them and as I left I thought - you fool, you were way to eager and way to agreeable and you darn well know that you can't live up to those expectations anymore for very long without taking two or three sick days a month.  Anyways - here we go...

 

hypomania - I can't sleep so I might as well turn on the TV

mania - X-files is over at 6 am then I'll get up and clean out all the closets

depression - (rolling over in bed) It's 2 p.m. already?

 

hypomania - I'd love to go to the concert

mania - I got to get out of this concert it is too loud, I need an aisle seat

depression - I know I promised I'd go to the concert but I'm just not up to it today

 

hypomania - If I just read 100 pages a day and write one paper I'll catch up on my assignments

mania - (throwing book and crying) I just don't get all this philosphy bs

depression - what the h*ll am I going to do with an English degree anyways, you're 43 years old no one's going to hire a 50 year old teacher, why bother doing any homework

H:  My daughter is the cutest child at school.  She's going to be a genius someday.

M:  I she would just stop whining I could think for a minute

D:  Honey, lets turn on the TV today while Momma rests.

 

H:  I'm going to clean the whole house today.

M:  I can't find my sponge, and mop, **** it 

D:  Sometime next month I'll get to it.

 

H:  Out of bed. Great day!!

M:  The day has dawned just for me..I'm the best thing on this planet.

D:  Turn off that annoying light

 

H:  Let's hit the shoping mall today, I could use some new shoes.

M:  I need 5 pair in that shoe over there 

D:  no one will notice my slippers 

 

 

that is the best piece i have EVER read about Bipolar!

and it is ME to a T!!

i'd love to use your piece--with your credit of course--for a site i'm launching in the spring

www.makemommysmile.citymax.com

 

   I have 40 years of my husband being bipolor and I  feel likeing killing  myself.

Thought you all may be interested in a mental health campaign I'm helping to start called everyminute.org that is fighting stigma in trying to organize a grassroots lobbying force to secure more research funding.  We just launched our website last week at http://www.everyminute.org  Thanks!
Jace

H:  I'll call Carol & see what she's been up to in the last 10 years.  (What, she doesn't remember me?).  I'll write EXREMELY long emails to random people in the middle of the night revealing way too much personal info. & getting sentimental.  I LOVE everyone.

 

M:  Will people just leave me alone? I criticize my co-workers, "fire" my therapist & pdoc (after all, I found a TYPO in one of the pamphlets in the waiting room--how unprofessional).  Why don't they just do it MY way? And, by the way, nobody in this town knows how to drive.

 

D:  I'm not worth even being seen by the pdoc or therapist.  I'm such a failure.  I'll never get better.

 

H:  I join every worthwhile committee & charity group & rise rapidly to the top with my enthusiasm, boundless energy & creative ideas.

 

M:  I'm on a CRUSADE.  I call the newspapers & television stations & demand they report on the topics I'm so passionate about.  I picket establishments that are not complying with my standards.  I farm out my kids.  I have a higher calling.

 

D:  I'm overwhelmed.  I drop out of life.  I don't answer the phone & abandon all the people I made commitments to.

 

H:  I like this top.  Hey, it comes in 8 different colors.  Great, I'll take one of each.  Well, add 2 extra of the blue.  I really like blue.  Gold-plated tweezers! Surely a necessity--one for me & one for my daughter.  Hmm, that comes to $600.00 spent in 2 hours--think of all the miles I'm getting on my credit card! And everything was on sale.  I'm saving so much money.

 

M:  My vacuum cleaner broke.  I'm throwing out this piece of sh*t.  Ahh, this is what I need:  a hospital-grade vacuum cleaner made in Sweden.  ONLY $800.00.  What a deal! We'll be so healthy.  Take it back!! My husband is so stupid! I'm not taking it back AND I want a divorce.

 

D:  Why doesn't my husband just leave me now & get it over with? I know he hates me & wishes he never married me.  I'm such a burden & so ugly & useless.

 

I ran across your blog today and I really thank you for making an effort. I have had friends who were /are bipolar and one woman who has made me an enemy that sleeps on my couch. I think she would like my life "because she could make it so much better" I don't even talk to her any more. I have nothing nice to say to her or her to me. My boyfriend and I have helped her out for almost 2 years but now I have become her enemy...that is how she acts...I don't know if it is the disorder or just her WAY. If I don't go to bed when my boyfriend does she makes nasty cracks to me and honestly I want to plant her face into the concrete but...I know she has this "disorder" I think she uses it to the hilt too.

"Trying to Get Settled", "Hold the Ladder--I'm Coming Down", "Sing, Scream or Cry?"

 

I want to commend you on all three of your posts. The battle you mention in "Trying", with regard to Seroquel, is one that I agonize over every single day. I have the same problems you do. I cannot remember what I did the previous day, can't retain much of anything, etc.... #1 Take Seroquel, have successful relationships with spouse and family, and sleep--- vs. --- stop Seroquel and become the excellent employee you know you can be, and have been, but don't sleep and risk alienating those closest to you. 

 

We need to be stable to maintain our jobs so we can have medical insurance. So, that means that we must take the mind-numbing drugs. But the drugs hinder our performance on the job. So, where does that leave us? 

 

In "Hold the Ladder" you give us all a taste of what happens when we just want to be sharp and productive, and give into the urge to stop the medication which is making us feel that we might be suffering from dementia. Who wouldn't want to remember yesterday, or be able to prioritize their day's work, and especially, talk with the level of intelligence one has without the: "uh..let me think...oh, I know what I'm trying to say, but...." So, we stop the risperdal, seroquel, or whatever. All goes well in the beginning. With me, I am the star of the show; I love everybody and everybody loves me; I could dance and sing all night, AND I think that I dance and sing very well. Then, I no longer sleep. After that, I'm tortured by mind racing that gets in the way of what I must do.  Sleep disappears and utopia turns into hell. Soon, I spiral up into a horrible, tortuous, mania that is so painful that I can only think of getting rid of it. It is unbearable. 

 

What a fantastic job you did in illustrating the difference between hypomania, mania and depression!  I think you are an excellent writer and have a wonderful grasp on this illness. Your writings could help those who are new to this diagnosis and help their families understand how the afflicted persons feel.  

Sing, Scream or Cry? Comparing Hypomania, Mania and Depression

Love this one this says it all this pretty much hits the nail on the head if you know what I mean I'm Bipolar 2 and I feel the same sometimes this article was great!!!