I’m still around, even though I’ve only been able to manage one post in the last 2 months. BipolarConnect has published a few of my older posts, so I appreciate them not allowing me to fade completely away. It's been 2 months, and I continue to experience a debilitating mania. But debilitating in ways I can’t understand. I can (more or less) work, I can interact with others, I can attend support group meetings. But I cannot read. I cannot concentrate. I cannot workout. I cannot write. I am seeing and hearing things. I am not sleeping, my body is coursing with nervous energy, and my hands are trembling. As attractive as some of these symptoms sound, it’s absolutely NOT pleasurable.
I’ve learned a lot through this mania. I’ve learned that no matter how prepared I am, it may not be enough to stop the mania. I don't think there’s anything I could have done to prevent this. Perhaps had I been able to medicate myself into 10 hours of sleep a night I might have avoided it, but who knows. I was prepared, I had enough Seroquel and sleep medication. I let my family know what to expect. There's not much else I could do.
Well, I've been several days trying to write this sharepost and this is as far as I've gotten. I had plans on writing this about the high cost of mania in terms of relationship damage, but that will have to wait for a different frame of mind. My apologies to those people I've offended, to whom I've written inappropriate things, to those I've ignored. The "normal" me will be back eventually - I hope.
for you for i am there of which you speak for sometimes a week at a time with depression thrown in throughout it all
.....and never level off....i literally can't remember the last time i've leveled off to "normal feelings" per say seriously can't and have sat here trying to recall the last time i was "level".....either up or down on the the slide to one or the ladder to the other, never a moments rest for me in the mood stages.
....if youwant to email me personally and vent that would be good too....
If you need a shoulder, well i have TWO and always one available for a friend....so take this time and accept any help from us who love you that you can
)
..for we need you, you are loved, you are supported here for sure.....
This goes back to what I've said a few times
You can take the medication exactly as prescribed, attend all the support groups, go to the pdoc faithfully as soon as the door cracks open, talk to your therapist at every session scheduled. You can exercise, eat right, and do what you know you need to do AND still get derailed at points in the illness's life which coincides with ours.
Even if you don't do "exactly" but make do for a period of time, something can cause the trolley car to derail. Sometimes it doesn't even take a something, the illness just turns when we don't expect it.
You do what you need to do to get yourself better GJ and don't worry too much about us. You haven't said anything inappropriate towards me, and though I haven't seen any new posts or replies from you, I figured you were still trying to get "sorted out". Even if you had replied something inappropriately - I'd let it go because it isn't "you".
When you are better and back to your ole self, I for one will be happy to hear from you again.
Take care & peace I wish for you.
Tabby
Thanks Tabby. So many caring and thoughtful people here, and you're certainly one of them. Thanks for your helpful words.