Thanks To All

My best of luck and warmest wishes for you in your new career, committed family time, and general enjoyment of life in all its beautiful absurdity.

I only just stumbled upon your wonderful wealth of knowledge and experience both here and on your blog in the past week while gathering research to understand my own bipolar disorder which I was diagnosed with this winter.

Some background, if you'd like:

As the daughter of a bipolar father(though undiagnosed and unmedicated) and a clinically depressed mother, both of whom suffer from severe PTSD, we knew I wasn't going to escape the genetic gamble on this one. *chuckles*

However, in spite of the fact that my mother is a Professor of Pysch. Nursing, I still turned out to be your classically mis-diagnosed bipolar patient: I was diagnosed with depression at 16, went through the carousel of ineffective-antidepressants for the next 10 years, and only in the last two did I finally find a combo that seemed to work: Lexapro with a kick of Wellbutrin.

But even this combination, taken religiously, could not keep my mood swings at bay, and because depression had been my focus for so many years, I hardly noticed the times I was hypo/manic because I thought they were what "normal" feelings of happiness were like, until....this past summer, where I went into emotional hyperdrive trying to cope with a friend's traumatic suicide(he chose to exit this world by self-immolation), and my mother being diagnosed with a brain tumor(thankfully benign, and safely removed in November).

It was at this point that my husband and the girlfriend of my comrade who committed suicide urged me to seek a PDoc(I hadn't had one in many, many years), and get re-diagnosed, because the anti-depressant cocktail I had had such success with were just not cutting it. What really drove the point home was when I became suicidal while on the meds. I'm not sure who was more frightened; myself or my loved ones, but if there was ever a wake-up call that I needed help, it was definitely then.

Long story short, without actually saying "bipolar", my PDoc diagnosed me with a neuropathway issue, and titrated me up to 200mg of Lamictal in addition to the Lexapro and Wellbutrin, with the hope that I may be able to go off the other two meds and stick to the Lamictal in the coming years, depending on how I react.

My response to Lamictal has been astonishing; for the first time, I am understanding what it feels like to have a regulated mood. As a result, I've begun research to gain a better understanding of my disorder; for years I had been focusing on the depression and its triggers, but now I have the mania side of the coin to get acquainted with, which led me to this site, your column, and your blog.

I've only just begun reading through the archives of "Living With a Purple Dog", but the information and experiences you share about your own struggles and learning how to nurture your son Kyle has given me immense comfort and encouragement.

Through your posts, I've come to know I'm not alone in my symptoms, and through the support you've given your son, I have hope that I will be able to do the same when I have children of my own.

I think one of the most poignant quotes I've read so far is one from your earliest blog postings:
"When it came out in me, we knew what to expect, having suspected it for years. But people interacting with those suffering from mental issues need to research enough to understand, and open their hearts enough to accept."

Regardless of what mental illness one has, stigma is definitely our greatest enemy. Thank you for so eloquently, and succinctly stating the antidote to it. When I finally get to good a place with processing and managing my disorder, I plan to engage more fully in battling the stigma by enlightening the masses.

The end of one journey is the beginning of the next; my heartfelt congratulations to you as you lay new trails in your life, and my unending gratitude to your for paving the way.

Bless, bless, bless, and Namaste,

-Lauren WB Vermette

Only diagnosed this winter, your postings have been helpful to me. I'm sure we will 'see' you around eventually - and I'll be keeping an eye out for your book some day in the future. Glad you're working with DBSA - best of luck, and thank you for sharing so much of your story here.

Hey, GJ. It's sad to see you go, but at the same time I'm glad for you. I think that final phase of recovery happens when you are able to shed your old identity and move forward. Like a snake shedding its skin. In the bipolar context, the people who get well tend to stop coming to support groups and go back to their "normal" lives and identities. So while we will miss your great wisdom and insight and compassion, I am delighted that you are entering this part of your healing.

I very much valued our association here. You've moved up a grade. Keep checking in, and keep in mind I will need you as a mentor when it's my turn to shed my skin and move forward.

All the best -

 I have enjoyed reading everything you have written, and I've learned alot from you. I loved the line you wrote, that said you happened to be a guy who has bipolar. I'm so proud of you and to see you take a new direction. I think there is a huge difference in being someone that happens to be bipolar and being someone that does lead a bipolar life. To me that means the bipolar leads you through life. Don't let it. Of course what do I know, I am the one that's crazy from the outside in. Have a wonderful life.                    Love, Emma

I can't tell you how much your story has encouraged me that people can make it, can have strong marriages, and can have strong families despite bipolar disorder.  I and many others have looked up to you as the strong person we would like to be when we "grow up".

Congrats on your new job.  You deserve it.

Take care.

I can't tell you how much your story has encouraged me that people can make it, can have strong marriages, and can have strong families despite bipolar disorder.  I and many others have looked up to you as the strong person we would like to be when we "grow up".

Congrats on your new job.  You deserve it.

Take care.

Dearest GJ<
I so understand and admire your proactive stance in going for what you feel you need to do in order to move on with your needs.

  HOwever I can't feign being happy about it...I will miss you so much on here I am unable to find the words to express how much.

 YOur kindness, empathy, understanding of others and unconditional acceptance of all who came/come with open hand searching for answers has so helped me through so many ordeals that i can't help but be kind of well, deeply sorry that I will not be in contact with such a caring soul

.......if you recall you were the first person to comment on my introduction to this site and welcome me into the community of expression and knowledge that is so vast on here......

you are the one that kept me here to learn and expand my "community" of friends, you are the one that welcomed me with open arms to the community here

....and therefore i am sad to be losing you as a resource and YET i am also SO PROUD OF YOU for starting your own site to begin with and now turning it into a site of RECOVERY and COPING not seeking answers, just sharing the moment.....kinda a MINDFULNESS type of approach that I so hope is very successful for you.

I want you to know that I wil greatly and intensly miss you and your inspiring, educational, and caring posts....

But my dear friend, it is good that you have come to terms with what will make you better able to cope, better able to go about your life in a new approach that will hopefully bring you nothing but success and ability to live with the "lightning" in a positive and I can DO IT light.....for you are a very special person GJ< not sure you even recognize how much so.....

but want you to know i feel my life has been enriched and my understanding and acceptance of this condition greatly improved due to meeting you .....

i will miss you my friend.

please email me if you could your new site location i'd love to read and be a part of the positive direction and always looking for new ways to cope myself.....

please take care, and God bless you and your family......my greatest thanks for all you have done for ALL of us GJ.....

take care my friend, take care

"so shines a good deed in a weary weary world" Dahl, and that is YOU of which i speak!
ctrygirl