My best of luck and warmest wishes for you in your new career, committed family time, and general enjoyment of life in all its beautiful absurdity.

I only just stumbled upon your wonderful wealth of knowledge and experience both here and on your blog in the past week while gathering research to understand my own bipolar disorder which I was diagnosed with this winter.

Some background, if you'd like:

As the daughter of a bipolar father(though undiagnosed and unmedicated) and a clinically depressed mother, both of whom suffer from severe PTSD, we knew I wasn't going to escape the genetic gamble on this one. *chuckles*

However, in spite of the fact that my mother is a Professor of Pysch. Nursing, I still turned out to be your classically mis-diagnosed bipolar patient: I was diagnosed with depression at 16, went through the carousel of ineffective-antidepressants for the next 10 years, and only in the last two did I finally find a combo that seemed to work: Lexapro with a kick of Wellbutrin.

But even this combination, taken religiously, could not keep my mood swings at bay, and because depression had been my focus for so many years, I hardly noticed the times I was hypo/manic because I thought they were what "normal" feelings of happiness were like, until....this past summer, where I went into emotional hyperdrive trying to cope with a friend's traumatic suicide(he chose to exit this world by self-immolation), and my mother being diagnosed with a brain tumor(thankfully benign, and safely removed in November).

It was at this point that my husband and the girlfriend of my comrade who committed suicide urged me to seek a PDoc(I hadn't had one in many, many years), and get re-diagnosed, because the anti-depressant cocktail I had had such success with were just not cutting it. What really drove the point home was when I became suicidal while on the meds. I'm not sure who was more frightened; myself or my loved ones, but if there was ever a wake-up call that I needed help, it was definitely then.

Long story short, without actually saying "bipolar", my PDoc diagnosed me with a neuropathway issue, and titrated me up to 200mg of Lamictal in addition to the Lexapro and Wellbutrin, with the hope that I may be able to go off the other two meds and stick to the Lamictal in the coming years, depending on how I react.

My response to Lamictal has been astonishing; for the first time, I am understanding what it feels like to have a regulated mood. As a result, I've begun research to gain a better understanding of my disorder; for years I had been focusing on the depression and its triggers, but now I have the mania side of the coin to get acquainted with, which led me to this site, your column, and your blog.

I've only just begun reading through the archives of "Living With a Purple Dog", but the information and experiences you share about your own struggles and learning how to nurture your son Kyle has given me immense comfort and encouragement.

Through your posts, I've come to know I'm not alone in my symptoms, and through the support you've given your son, I have hope that I will be able to do the same when I have children of my own.

I think one of the most poignant quotes I've read so far is one from your earliest blog postings:
"When it came out in me, we knew what to expect, having suspected it for years. But people interacting with those suffering from mental issues need to research enough to understand, and open their hearts enough to accept."

Regardless of what mental illness one has, stigma is definitely our greatest enemy. Thank you for so eloquently, and succinctly stating the antidote to it. When I finally get to good a place with processing and managing my disorder, I plan to engage more fully in battling the stigma by enlightening the masses.

The end of one journey is the beginning of the next; my heartfelt congratulations to you as you lay new trails in your life, and my unending gratitude to your for paving the way.

Bless, bless, bless, and Namaste,

-Lauren WB Vermette

G.J. Gregory

5/ 7/08 9:25pm

Thank you so much for that incredible comment. 

 

You've endured a lot, losing a friend in that manner would be unthinkable. 

 

For me, working up to a therapeutic dosage of Lamictal took a couple of months.  Then I didn't realize how much it was doing until my wife started smiling again, and the kids started asking warily "what's up with dad?"

 

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, it means a lot.

Ken

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