Living with someone who has bipolar but doesn't know it. How I picked up on the signs.

Hi everyone. This is my first post and I just want to share some of my experiences with you. 

I met my boyfriend who is now 46 years of age.  We have been together for 2 1/2 years.  When I first met him he was loving and sweet and kind....He was just getting out of an 18 year marriage and was dealing with his kids and his wife for the first year.  We would talk about his past and what went on in his marriage.  I want to say even as early as the first few months I noticed that he was easily angered but the very slightest things but still didn't really think that was odd because of what he was dealing with and just figured he was over whelmed and would think to myself that he is not me and this is how he handles things I guess.  After about six or seven months he moved. I notice within that time frame he was very moody and I could not make head or tails of why he was acting the way he was.  Sometimes he was okay to talk to and others you just couldn't.  There were times of things that we had pasted talked about easily became difficult and he would tell me that I was being inconsiderate of his feelings and that I was being mean and nasty. At this time I would think to myself, but we touched basis on this why are you acting this way he would start to veer off in a totally different direction and tell me it was me doing it, that I didn't want to deal with the situation at hand but I thought I was and I could not tell him that I would just have to accecpt what he was saying and just agree with him when I really didn't feel that way at all but I knew if it continued the way it was there was no resloving it.  The more we saw each other the more I started to realize that something wasn't right and I started to think it was me that maybe I was expecting too much of him because there were times he could talk and it all seemed well and there were times he just couldn't and would totally flip out and he would start to yell and scream and then turn around and tell me it was my fault that I made him do it because I said something that shouldn't have been said.  Just back in 2007 he moved in with me and after living with him the first few months I was very confused and started to see a side of him I didn't  like.  He was very manipulative, mean and nasty but would tell me that I was the one being that way. I really started to pick up on his mood swings and notice just the smallest thing could set him off if he was not in the right mode, I started to pick  on when I could talk to him, disagree with him and have some what of a normal conversation with him and when I couldn't.  Sometimes, I just couldn't speak at all and just had to sit there and listen because I knew if I said just one word not even meaning anything he would find something.  I decided to keep a journal on the ups and downs of his mood swings for six months.  During this past December he hit his all time low and for two weeks straight verbally abused me and actually looked for way try to start fights so he would have a reason to lash out.  He was going through a period where things were not going well at his job, he was trying to sell his house, deal with the kids, storage and attorneys.  I was cleaning out the house and doing what ever it took to try to make things as easy as I could for him on top of doing all the house hold chore and taking care of all the bills. For these two weeks was put me over the edge.  No matter what I did or said it was not good enough and I was verbally abused every single day of the and at every possible moment we were in contact.  I knew I could not say a word for if I did, it would just escalate the situation.  He one morning while driving in together decided to tell me that he just didn't have the head to talk to me and did not want to talk to me at all because he didn't like the fact that he was lashing out at me for every little thing.  He told me that it was going to continue and that he just couldn't control it and would rather not just be around because he knew I did not deserve it. It did not stop him from screaming at me or yelling either.  He needed to get a storage truck so I offered to help where he had so many other things to do, what a mistake that was, that was all he needed...he started screaming at me asking me if I thought he was too stupid to do it himself and then yelled even louder telling me I provoked him to yell at me so it was my fault and that I was to be quiet and not speak.  This went on for two straight weeks.  I was very lonely and felt he hated with a passion because I had no idea what was going on.  That's when I turned to my journal and went on line.  That's when I found the Bipolar sights and after reading so many stories it was like a great light shined on me.  I realized he had triggers and I looked back at all of our conversations and it hit me, he has bipolar, now how do I tell him because I know he would never accept it.  My boyfriend has 5 phases, the first one is called the state of being, this is where I can talk to him and he has a pretty good handle on life and everything that comes with it, after a few days of this, as it does not last very long, he goes into phase 2, this phase is where is start to kind of feel bad about the things he has done to me and starts to feel guilty, phase 3, is the when everything is his fault and he can't do anything right or make anyone happy, phase 4 is when he starts to get a bit verbal, kind of quiet and a bit aggravated and the littlest things that didn't bother him before, do now, phase 5 is the worst and can last days longer than any of the other phases, this is where he gets extremely verbally abusive, blames me for everything, is very mean and nasty and has no compassion for anything because he angry.  I think when the phases hit, the last one says it all as in the 3rd and 4th phases is when he lets his mind wander and I think he gets angry with himself because he himself does not understand why it is he is acting the way he does, I know he does not want to but he can't help it and I think during those phase he lets things in that he didn't want to and just replays things back in his mind and truly feels he's the victim. Once phase 5 ends his cycle starts all over again. I am trying to get past how he treats me and the words that are said. I feel like I am in a no win situation.  I can detect his triggers too.  I just feel very lonely and hurt and my self esteem has also been bruised. Everytime I think I can pick up the pieces of what's happened and think that I can get past it or some how live with it, something else happens and puts me right back into that state with him.  I keep telling myself I am not going to do it to myself and he just has that way of drawing you right back in.  I love him so much but I feel like I am doing all the work in our relationship in trying to make things work and being I guess what he wants me to be, just there.  I feel like I am his dog and holding with all my might to try to make this work...Any advise from anyone please, help.  I know he will never go for help or accept it either if I ever decided to tell him, I just know it.  I have planned to wait until the next bad episode to come around, then I will have my words and my peace with him and if he walks out he walks out as I just know he will I think that's why I stay quiet at times because I know he'll leave but if he does not want to help himself then we can not continue this relationship as where he was married for 18 years and from all of the stories I had heard from not only my boyfriend but his kids, he was the same exact way with her that he is with me....He feels he is trying to be more patient with me and does not like it when we argue especially if I raise my voice or get loud...he said that scares him...I pray to all and god bless each and everyone of you who have it and who are caregivers....I commend you!  It's not easy and I will continue to try to go on and do what I can to help.  I just hope he realizes some day and I am sure by the time he does, it might be too late for us.  I don't know but I am holding on with both hands for as long as I can.