Hi Mary,

You sound like an amazing and intelligent woman who has survived this nasty thing we have for many years with a positive attitude. I think it is great that you are learning the computer. In this day and age it is the only way to go. When I get depressed I find that surfing the web can be a great help. There is so much out there to explore. That is how I found this site and the ChronicPain site for my Fibromyalgia. It's not a cure all but it allows me to keep busy and not focus so much on my pain and moods. As far as concentration goes, take it slowly and remember that for us concentration can be a major issue. Do you have anything else going on while you are at the computer...tv, radio,lots of lights, etc.? I find that the less
distractions I have around me the better. The least little noise or visual can throw me way off and my concentration goes out the window. There are times where I have actually deleted everything I have typed because I have no idea why I wrote
what I wrote because I couldn't concentrate. Does that make sense? The great thing about computers is that if you get off track you can go back and try again...couldn't do that with a typewriter. Taking online classes is great too because you can go at your own pace and you don't have to worry about something or someone in the classroom triggering a mood shift in you. Do you ever get the racing thoughts in your head? That is when I usually have the most difficult time concentrating and I have to try to focus on one of those thoughts at a time. Isn't easy and most of the time doesn't work totally but I give it my best shot. Have a piece of paper and pen by your side and if something comes into your mind that you want to remember write it down right away. Having notes can help. Memory and concentration go hand in hand...if one gets messed up it can mess up the other. As far as denial goes...I think all of us at one time or another are in denial. It's human nature not just for bipolar people but for people in general. Don't give up on your goal..I admire you. You can do it!