Living with bipolar, I've done a fair share of mucking up relationships. I can be overreactive, dramatic, flighty, impulsive, angry, analytical, jealous, demanding, all that jazz. My last relationship was a mess. I dated an alcoholic who treated me badly, so I always had something to react to. And when it ended, it ended with an explosion that lasted for months. It's been almost a year, and I still havent quite recovered.
A few months ago, I met a really, really great guy. He has an incredible family, really cool friends, nice looking, has a good and steady job, is about to buy a house, and is just a general all around nice guy. We've been talking and hanging out a LOT since about October, and our feelings for each other are finally starting to surface. And I'm absolutely terrified. I can't describe the stress I am in. His life is so put together, and happy, and mine is a complete mess. I'm going to community college, I'm on my 4th year of school and I still dont know what I'm doing, I dont know WHEN I'll get a decent job, I live with my parents, I have very very few friends, and my self esteem isnt all that great. What if something happens between us, and I completely ruin things? I'm such a mess, I'm afraid I dont deserve a good guy like him. I'm afraid I'll only bring trouble and anguish to his life. I dont know what I am doing. I'm afraid I'll accidentally hurt him and myself. He knows I'm bipolar, but I dont think he has a clue as to how much it affects my life. I dont think he realizes how messed up I am. I'm afraid that the closer I get to him, the more he'll realize that I'm not much of a catch. I'll scare him away, and I'll lose one of the best friends I've had in a long time. I dont know what to do about this.
It would be to your advantage to discuss your situation with him. That would mean full disclosure of your bipolar condition. It would be unhealthy for him to find this out later. If the relationship is going to be a serious one, I would advise counseling not only for yourself but also with the two of you together. He has a right to know what he's getting himself into and the fact that this relationship is going to require a good deal of work.
It's quite possible for these things to work out. I'm living proof of that. But it does take a lot of time, energy, and an absolute will to change behaviors, remain compliant on medications, and do whatever is necessary to make this thing work. Best wishes.