Soo Hurt and Confused!

 I have written before about my bipolar soon-to-be ex-husband. I am trying soo hard to get over all of this. I am trying to put it behind me, trying to restore my credit that has been ruined since we get together, and trying to get my depression under control. It is slowly taking shape. Until, WHAM, I hear what he up to now since he is on his own.

 He is usually on the manic side. When we got together he never said a cuss word, would've never considered smoking cigarettes, drank (but not to excess), and wasn't sexually permiscuous.(sp?) Well, that is all changed now! We have been split for not quite 4 months, and he is doing all of that and I don't even want to know how many girls he has slept. He is in a new relationship with a much younger girl, who says she has bipolar.

 My point to all of this is... I wish I could help him, but everytime I talk to him I am completey devastated. I take everything soo personal. I can't believe he would be with women and move on like we were never anything. All of his knew friends are such bad influences. All of his friends that were also friends with me have told him how he has screwed up with me. How I was a good wife and why is he doing what he doing? His family is at their whits end with him. I don't know if he is taking his meds anymore or not. I feel like I'm watching a ticking timebomb. I am soo scared but my hatered is growing soo deep.

 I gave him all my love. I truly loved him adn I don't know what you would call it? I know I shouldn't take everything soo personal. But it is very difficult. I guess I just need to move on with my life like he doesn't exist, but I'm not wired like that. I have him in my thoughts 24/7, about what he could possibly be doing now. How is he hurting himself now? Thanks for listening.