Crisis situation

By stronglady Saturday, February 02, 2008

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Long story short - I can't find my husband, I can't get a hold of him by phone (he won't pick up his cell) and he is getting progressively worse. He said he needs time to "fix his head" on his own. I offered words of comfort and I will support and help him "NO, I can do it on my own", he moved out two weeks ago to "fix himself", he seemed like he was doing really well, and now in the past 3 days not so good at all; sounded very down when I talked to him yesterday; he screamed at me and hung up after I said I was sorry this was happening. I tried calling him back all day and until 10:30 pm, but he won't pick up. I made a phone call to his psychiatrists "life threatening emergency phone number" and left a message stating what has been going on and that he carries a gun with him - because of HIPPA I can't speak with him regarding my husband so he never called me back. BUT if anything happens I notified his doctor.

I need the facts of what more I can do, especially with HIPPA, or is there anything I can do other than what I have done? Will his psychiatrist take that information I gave him, especially about him having a gun, and do something or not? Help

Comments (6) | Add comment

Hopeful mom

2/ 2/08 7:24pm

I'll say a prayer for you. I don't know what you can do short of calling 911. If you don't know where he is, I don't know if that will help you.

Eric

2/ 3/08 5:04am

Personally I think you just blew the relationship. Unless he signed a release form, you have no rights to his medical records nor are his therapist or psychiatrist allowed to speak about him to you. They can listen and then decide what course of action they want to go.

Why did you bring up the fact he had a gun? Were you afraid for his safety or was it that you knew that his psychiatrist would have to react? I’ve seen this pulled before and when he realizes that you cost him all rights to own a firearm, is detained and hauled off like a criminal…all because he asked you for some space and moved out …don’t expect forgiveness on his part, it will just compound the problem.

Good luck

stronglady

2/ 3/08 9:01am

I was concerned for his safety. He is a hunter and hasn't taken his gun out to do anything for about 5 years and the last time he was here (3 days ago) he said things like, "I'm never going to get any better", "What's the use in trying to fight it", "I don't want to hurt anyone anymore". He would call every night to check in, that was part of the agreement on him leaving for "space". Now after his visit 3 days ago NOBODY can get a hold of him. I couldn't live with myself if he did something and I tried to do nothing...he is a very proud person and that's why he has always tried to "fix" his bipolar himself, he has told me that if he can't do it, how is anything or anyone else going to. There are support dealbreakers in our relationship, this was one of them. Keep contact or I will assume you are not safe and I will do what I have to do to find you.

Hopeful mom

2/ 3/08 10:03am

You don't have to explain your actions to anyone. You are great.

Eric

2/ 4/08 8:26am

Have you been in contact with his family members and friends yet? I am not advocating that if you feel the person is a harm to themselves or others…to not call to get help. Just the opposite…if you think he is suicidal why not just dial 911 or a number to your local police department and have him picked up for evaluations.

What I suggest you not do in this process is to bring up the gun/guns except when they ask if there are any firearms…say yes, he is a hunter and leave it at that. What I can tell you from personal experience is that I held a high paying security job at one time. My brother and soon to be and ex now decided I needed an evaluation at the hospital because I walked out and needed space.

They were told that they couldn’t pick me up unless I was a threat to myself or others…that’s where the little white lie came in of …he has guns and said he was going to kill himself. Long story short…was picked up and released the same morning, all my pistols were confiscated and I lost all rights to carry (pistol permit), which also meant I lost a great job because I needed the pistol permit.

I divorced her and you can count how many times I have spoken with my brother on one hand in the past eight years. Back to you…if you think he is a threat to himself call the police and not his psychiatrist….just don’t make it any bigger than what it is. Good luck

cynthia arceneaux

2/ 3/08 8:47pm

stronglady, i am very concerned for you and your husband. yes, there is something you can do. you can get a "mental inquest warrant" all you have to do is contact the police and explain his state of mind and the fact that he has a gun. tell them the last time you talked to him and from what number. they can trace that number, even a cell phone. he may not forgive you for a very long time for doing this but sometimes you have to use tough love. i have had this experience persoally so i know. i hope it is not to late. i will put you and him in my prayers and please keep me informed.

Crisis situation

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