I was diagnoised with bipolar II disorder the middle of last year. Since then I have gone through a couple of meds and settling on Lamictal 200 mg. However, my psych is one who believes that there is no medication that you should be on while pregnant and since we are trying to have our third child he took me off all my meds (I was on Seroquel but had to stop taking it due to blood sugar issues). That was just over a month ago. Since then it is all coming back. Everything that started this summer when I went into a full blown depression episode. Well it was full blown for me, although it did not include suicide. The worst was just wanting to just go to sleep and not get up. I have felt it starting again all this week. Well I felt it a little from around the second week I was off. However the last week or so it has gotten bad again. I feel the urges to do stupid things again....and here's what gets me....I don't really want to do them, they don't bring me any kind of pleasure and yet I have done them in the past. There is no real point to them, so what is wrong with me? Why do I even want to go there? These are very self-destructive things (when it comes to over-all happiness and such) and yet the urge is there. So I have decided to restart my lamictal and find a different psychiatrist who is willing to allow me to be pregnant and still on medication. I just cannot stay off them at this time. I feel like a failure but I can't do it....just isn't going to work for me.