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By alxv Monday, February 08, 2010

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I'm in a very bad mood today. I have an appointment with my new pdoc and she is incompetent so I expect only the worse. She doesn't even know me and in the 1st appointment she prescribed 3x the doses I was taking just because she thought I was taking too little considering my height and weight.

I told her I was ok with the medication as it was but she changed it and even changed one of the meds to another I had to pay for and is exactly the same thing just from another lab...

I do ask who this people serve? I tried her prescription for 2 weeks gained some weight because I started sleeping up to 18 hours a day and when I tried to fight it I ended it up with headaches. At the end of it I was worse than before I was diagnosed, still don't know how it was possible but she did that. So after that I decided to go back to the doses I was taking before until the next appointment which she postpone. All this started on November and only today I will see what is on the menu at this ridiculous circus.

Worst than having bipolar disorder is to have a pdoc playing with your life without even taking the time to know you and LISTEN. Sorry but I really had to vent a little I am so tired of it all, I will tell her what I think even though I will be treated like a mental patient and not be taken serious as usual...

Alex

Losing control

Comments (6) | Add comment

hsurp

2/ 8/10 6:14am

I don't blame you for all your angst. I will be going through this again because my Dr. is retiring and now I have to find another. Have to start all over again Been out of work for this since May and looks like it will just be longer. Boy, oh boy! Hope things get better for you!!!

alxv

2/ 9/10 4:53am

Hi hsurp,

Thank you for your comment it's always good to hear from you and I'm truly sorry you have to start all over again like me. I know how stressful that is and how much luck is a big part of it to make everything be ok with a new Pdoc.

I made sure mine listened this time because I was too angry but all happened very smooth and I even got an apology from her because she saw how big her mistake was when she prescribed me too much of everything. So with God's help all will be as smooth and well from now on.

I hope and pray that you will have the same luck and all goes well with your new doctor hsurp it's vital that they listen to us and give the necessary attention to this complex illness we carry. No space for error here... Good luck, and if possible come and tell us how it went.

Alex

tabby

2/ 8/10 8:57pm

My personal thoughts and only me thoughts... just all that they are and nothing more or less.

Many will tell you that you should not be playing with your own meds and trust the doctor cause she knows better than you how to treat your Bipolar. While this may have some degree of truth, she does not have to live your life and function in your daily living every day.

Many will tell you that you did not give the drug in question a fair shot. You know, the one that made you sleep 18 out of 24 hours and if you had just taken it much longer... perhaps eventually your body would have worked itself out and you'd likely only sleep for 10-12 hours rather than 18 and you'd be half minded while awake.

Then many will tell you that it's best to be sedated, fat, dopey, vegatated, zombied, twitchy, and half out of it than to be all over the place. Problem there is, the all over the place caused dysfunction in daily living... the medications most are put on without question also cause dysfunction in daily living. Sometimes the dysfunctioning is the same and sometimes, it's worse.

I laugh when folks tell me that the medication will give me "a better quality of life" if I'd just find the very right ones. Problem is, with Bipolar you are constantly tweaking, adjusting, adding to or subtracting from, overhauling the entire protocol, or just always always always running to get another med.

If the meds, and their side effects, cause major dysfunctioning with my daily living... then how am I to have a 'better quality of life"? Whose definition of better quality is it anyway? Doc who does not know me or me who has struggled and suffered for years?

Enough of my rambling and diatribe...

Alxv... you are a most intelligent woman and I admire your gumption

As long as you are proactively searching for the right medication(s) and you are willing to do treatment for your disorder... doc should listen to you as to what you will and won't tolerate and assist you in getting there.

I'm so very sorry that she didn't and do hope that she does this next time. She should fully explain what and why.

alxv

2/ 9/10 5:13am

Hi tabby!

It's always a pleasure to hear from you again, how are you?!

I agree with you 100% but yesterday I was lucky enough to get an apology from my Pdoc because she saw how big was the mistake in the prescription she gave me in November. This is a good example of the patient taking control because after 15 days with that treatment I was more ill that I was before I got diagnose last year. She took 2 steps back and saw I was with the right treatment so why mess with it so much...?

So I am very happy that finally she woke up and we have a good communication between us. She even want me there at the end of next month which never happened so fast, so miracle day! I have an appointment for next month and not for 3 or 4 months after. She wants me to do some therapy which I am waiting for them to call me to tell me when and I'm very satisfied I am finally on the right track, things are working out.

I don't know much about having the best quality of life with the meds but it has improved a lot but I still have everyday battles with my thoughts and some explosions of insanity that I work hard to contain. I believe it will stop when I die, until then I will fight it back all the way, meds do help a lot but they don't cure or change our personalities we still are who we are no miracles there.

It meant a lot for me to have this appointment going so well because it was making me stress up too much out of frustration. Thank you tabby for caring and for your support it always means a lot. All the best to you too.

Alex

tabby

2/ 9/10 7:40am

you got an apology? whoo hoo... I'm glad and I'm glad she "woke up" to see what happened and what she had put you through as a result

perhaps now, she'll listen and work with you more closely. it really is a relationship to develop and maintain

sad to think, so many others would have just taken the medication as prescribed and went through all that you did or perhaps worse... and never questioned their pdoc because they are to do as told... or never have a pdoc wake up and realize something is not workable and just keep adding meds on top of meds... which sometimes makes it much worse

alxv

2/10/10 5:58am

I can't still believe it LOL she was so different than the 1^st time I was there! I never got an apology from a doctor before and this time was vital if she wanted me to continue being her patient. I don't recommend people doubting their Pdocs, in my case I went way worse than I was before being diagnose and just because I knew that the other treatment was working well for me made me change my treatment and wait for the next appointment.

I have bipolar type II, I believe it's easy to treat and less confusing to see where our personality is. I do recommend that those with the same problems with their treatment talk sooner with their Pdoc instead of doing it the same way I did. I can only be responsible for myself. If I had no clue to what treatment works for me I would never have taken matters into my own hands.

But never the less it is a serious matter when doctors make such mistakes because it puts their patients at risk like I was. I hope we will continue a good relationship as it was this time because I won't be as nice next time around...

Thanks tabby for your support! All the best.

Alex

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