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Depression

By dolle Tuesday, June 24, 2008

 

DEPRESSION

 

I am depression.

Look for me, you cannot see me -

Only the lives and dreams I have destroyed

Are visible.

Listen for me - you cannot hear me-

Only the cries in the night, the screams of

Frustration are audible.

Reach out for me, you cannot touch me -

But I will beat you until you are numb from

The pain feeling only worthlessness, helplessness

And hopelessness.

I will come without warning and not leave until I have taken

Everything from you - taken all your dreams, your hope, your Confidence, your identity leaving only a shell vulnerable to the slightest touch or storm.

I am a ghost.

How do you fight what you cannot see, hear, touch?

How do you fight what has no remorse, feels no guilt, delights in misery-

How do you rid yourself of an uninvited guest?

I am a parasite.

I feed off the life, dreams, hopes of the unsuspecting leaving pain, darkness, hopelessness in place of the life and soul that once thrived.  I take the laughter, love, faith and leave despair, uncertainty and guilt behind.

I am depression.

Being a bipolar mom
Anonymous
Cait.
7/ 9/08 10:03am

This really moved me. Beautifully written and captures the essence of depression.

7/ 9/08 10:18am

Thank you I really appreciate your comments.  Unfortunately, we all know too well the essence of depression.  I wish I knew nothing about it.  Dolle

7/10/08 10:24am

You perfectly describe depression.  Like you, I wish I did not understand anything of what you described.  It is a horrible way to feel.  And, in my life, I have so few people who understand.  I try to put on a mask and just go on.  It is very hard for me to work.  I just do not want to do anything but I need to eat and pay my rent..........blessings, Pam

7/10/08 10:38am

My heart aches as I read your comments.  Ours is a disease of lonliness.  When people at work are diagnosed with cancer, we collect money to help with their medical bills, we plan meals, etc BUT have a mental illness and all you get are whispers.  I feel that I have been as close to death as many cancer victims.  I am not saying that cancer victims don't deserve help but I wish it would include us some times.  And people don't understand.  My husband of 28 years thought I would be "cured" by now.  I have a suspicion that he has found someone else and each day points more towards that end. So when you talk about putting on the mask, I know EXACTLY what you mean.  I function mechanically.  Thank you for your comments and know that I really do understand how you feel and you are entitled to your feelings.  this is a horrible disease that feeds on our vitality, hope, etc  Dolle

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By dolle— Last Modified: 09/29/10, First Published: 06/24/08