When I was 13 yrs. old, my family moved to another town b/c of my dad's work. I was extremely angry & sad, very depressed. I loved where we had been living since I was 4 yrs.old. All I had ever really known was Due West. Had many close friends. It was a tight knit, small college town (Erskine College in SC). I was devastated & hated my parents for "doing" that to me. I had a hard time finding my "niche" of friends, went through several. I finally ended up in the alcohol/drugs/smoking/promicuous group. Got pregnant @ 16 & remember blaming my parents for taking me away from my life, ruining it. I am 47 & just now realizing how many times I would sit in my bedroom & hope that my parents would come & hold me & tell me everything is going to be alright. They didn't know how to talk to me. Many times I was hateful, diobedient & down right disrespectful. Throwing tantrums & yelling @ my parents. Skipping school. Partying. I've managed to get a BS in Biology & a MAT in Biology,Chemistry & Physics, a CDL. I've had so many jobs & quit on impulse many times b/c I wanted to do something else, like go to a bar or concert... I have 1 son & am on my 3rd marriage. I truely beleive that I was bi-polar all this time & nobody knew why I was so "different". I get manic & go on spending sprees & I get depressed & don't do anything for days. I am bi-polar & it took teaching full time @ a small high school, which just happen to be in Due West, being the varsity cheerleading coach & sponsor of the Jr. Academy of Science, as well as teaching Anatomy & Physiology @ night @ Piedmont Tech. College @ night to break me. After 3 yrs. of that, I gradually became to hate it all & became suicidal 10/03. I am thankful that there are researchers out there trying to help young people, like I was. Maybe their lives won't be so traumatic as mine. Believe me, this little story is just the tip of the iceberg! I'm taking ECT now, along w/ meds. & it is/has helped tremendously. I started out suicidal..then chronically depressed (2 suicide attempts). Still think about it sometimes, not as much. Been institutionalized twice. If you would like to hear any info. from me just e-mail or send a letter.

Alicia Mundy Trautman

512 Stonewood Dr.

Greenwood, SC  29649

a.rainbowtrout@yahoo.com