I found out tonight that my mother had a phone conversation with my sister that lasted four hours yesterday. The only limited contact my family has had with my sister in the last two months has not been pleasant. She has accused us of making her sick and risking her life by hospitalizing her in October.

I guess my sister is finally accepting that she has bipolar. Supposedly she also is consistently eating and sober. I have no idea if she has been cutting. She has been seeing a psychiatrist who prescribed her lamotrigine (lamictal).

She cried during most of the four hours. She said she knows that she lied to and hurt many people. She claims that the hospital lied about how she was demanding and threatening suicide. My mother just believes that she can not recall it.

Because of the fact that she took off and cut off communication, my father's health insurance cut my sister off. I guess because of the not-so-good review the hospital gave her, she can not get health insurance coverage right now. She is having to borrow money from the devil (read my intro posting to get that one) to pay for her meds and $450 for every weekly visit to her psychiatrist that is 3 hours away.

She said that she loves and misses us all. Supposedly she plans on leaving Florida in Febuary to come back to Minnesota.

She knows that I do not want to talk to her.

All of the drama with my sister exploded on October 4th. Two weeks prior to this my sister had started dating a guy that she met a month earlier. A few days before 10/4, my sister told me that her new beau admitted to her that he used to be hardcore drug dealer and once shot a man in the leg who had robbed him. It terrified me! He had never been in our apartment at that point to my knowledge. Then on 10/3, my sister informed me that she had given her keys to her bf so that he could get into our apartment when no one was there. Saying I was upset is an understatement but I was reserved. I lost it the next day. I told her that she could date whoever she wanted, but since I did not bring violent criminals into our home, neither could she.

Needless to say she did not take it well and tried to choke me. She knocked me into a wall and had her hands around my throat. It was not hard to push her off since I am taller and stronger than her. She ran away at that point. I fell to the floor and sobbed. I drew myself a bath and sat in it and cried for a couple hours.

For the next couple of weeks, when it was brought up my sister said she was sorry but that it was my fault because I provoked her. BS. When my sister was in that hospital and after her meds were tripled (keep in mind she never consistently took her meds to begin with) she sincerely apologized the one and only time for how she tried to physically assault me. Since she left that hospital, about two months ago, she has denied ever trying to choke me.

I just can not handle that. And to top it off, she is now engaged to the violent drug dealer, bf of 3 months. She and I share an apartment, she has not paid rents in months. I will possibly lose my apartment. I just can not let her back into my life if she can not even acknowledge what she did to me and if she still has that violent man that she tried to choke me over in her life. I do not trust her. I can not trust her. I get that she may not remember it but to say that I made it up... there is no way I can let her back in my life like that.