Dealing with my Bipolar - Day Two....

Part of my therapy is to sort out my thoughts and write things out.  So I journal and I post here.  I post here to gain insight to thing from others and to help me.  It may not be perfect, it may not always be right - but Im trying.  So feel free to read on, but if you dont like it - its ok.....if you do or if you have suggestions, Im open.   Thakn you!

So after the tough love session with my therapist, and taking a "sick" day at work on wednesday.  (More like a mental health digest everything day).  I was ready to go back to the real world.

So work was normal on Thursday no issues...I layed low - got things done and went out to lunch with a great friend who is a rock to me in these times.  I dont know what I did to deserve such a good friend - but Im lucky.  The hardest part of our relationship is making sure everything is even.  I sometimes feel and Im sure I am monopolizing her time.  She listens.  Im not used to that. 

So after work, I took my therapist suggestion and I went to a BP Support Group. 

It was..........awkward.

I have to be honest....parts of it I liked, other parts I wanted to run for the hills.

I got drilled by one of the supportees there.  She grilled me on how many times I had been hospitalized, what drugs did I take, did I ever punch a doctor because he didnt give me a tranquilizer.  I remember thinking this chic is nuts.  Then immediately feeling guilty for it  - cause she was obviously struggling and obviously had something going on in her head. 

Luckily the Support Group Leader came to my rescue and reminded all of us that we are not there to judge and we dont have to talk if we dont want to, and we certainly dont have to answer questions we dont want to.

So she continued her story and low and behold it was my doctor that I was seeing that night that she punched - Great! lol!

So I had to leave a little early.  And overall, I did enjoy it.  It was so nice to relate to others.  One woman said, I havent slept in weeks - she said I get up every few hours and just pace and pace.  And I go - me too!  This is sad - but I was like yes - someone else you knows what its like....and no one tried to tell her what to do, we just empathized with her.  It was refreshing!!!!  We could be honest and others would relate and no one judged. 

So even though the one woman went on her tangents and obviously had things to get off her chest.  Overall it was a good group session and I will go back.  If for nothing else, it reminds me - Im not alone.  And there are people there every Thursday at 6 there for me.

Its nice.

So - on to the doctors.  Who again gave me the tough love (has everyone in my life been given a memo to give me tough love?)

He said Im not going to keep prescribing you meds with the thought that you will be fine without going to your therapist, following her program.  He reminded me that I needed to be in a routine.  I needed to take care of myself - physically and mentally.  I need to go tot he support groups - I need to listen to my therapist.  If I dont - the drugs wont help.