Struggling with Husband...

Im looking for some advice.

My husband is a very loving, LOGICAL person.  the only person he truly shows emotions with is me.  He is very logical.  he thinks things through and sometimes (he admits this) to a fault.

He is struggling so much with understanding Bipolar and me with it.

I tried talking with him about it last night and asked what about it is difficult for him?  WHat does he need?

He replied, "Babe, you know that emotions are a thing I struggle with, if you wanted to pick the one disease that couldnt be the furthest from me understanding - you have it.  I dont understand emotions, I dont understand not being able to control them, and I dont understand what you are going through.  But I think i deal with you well".

Truth is - I dont feel like he does.  This could be the BP talking or me, but regardless its how I feel.  I try telling him what I need from him.  Support, hugs....and sometimes just space.  So when I tell him this - he instead talks about his company, his day, and stays off of any topic of me.

What this does is infiriates (sp?) me!!!!!  I want to scream at him to be quiet.  But then I just hold it in and think that he doesnt know what is going on in my head and he doesnt understand, and its not his fault.  He thinks he's helping.

So when I am feeling better we talk.  I try to explain what I need a little better - he gets upset, yells, and says "Im doing the best that I can, Im never going to be thisperfect husband to you with this disease".  He flies off the handle and gets upset.   Then I usually give him time to cool down and go in and hug him and just say, I know you are doing your best and I love you.

This usually ends the fight and we go on as normal.

When Im good - we are good.  When Im bad - we are really bad.  Im not sure how to talk to him about this, Im not sure how to tell him what support I need.  Im not even sure if I should expect support from him - is that fair?

I asked him to help support me in my routine and he goes, whoa whoa, Im the WRONG guy for that.  I hate routines, dont look to me for that.  I tried to explain I wasnt asking him to do a routine, I was just asking him to help support the routine - like dont forget to tell me  you invited the guys over for beer and foosball and I come home looking to just relax and there are ten guys at our house - drunk and loud.

Or surprise!  My parents are coming over for dinner - what are we making for them? 
Or I come home and I have no idea where he is -  I text - no response - call - no response

finally hours later he comes home - and he goes oh I was at a networking event.  Im sorry I must have forgot to tell you.

I need support from him in not throwing these things on me.  He doesnt understand.  He sees it as why would you not want my parents over for dinner.  I explain - its not that I dont want them to come over, its that I need to prepare.   Then he takes it personally that I dont like his parents.  Its not that, I need time to readjust my day and mentally prepare that instead of going home - relaxing and reading, Im entertaining!!!