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Monday, November, 23, 2009
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BeadGoddess
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BeadGoddess is learning to live with Bipolar
Learning to live with bipolar and accepting it....

Im 29, I was diagnosed with bipolar a year ago. Ive been in denial...

BeadGoddess

Saturday, July 04, 2009
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Happy Fourth of July!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

So yesterday was a rollercoaster - and a wild one at that.

 

I have my own room int he house  - its my own little soon to be sanctuary.  Its where I make my jewelry, think, do crafts, and sometimes just chill......

This room was a NIGHTMARE!!!!

So at first I had about 20 projects on my list of things to do this weekend...then I decided...just one.  I wanted to feel a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day - not a disappoitnment.  So on to this room....

 

SO I grabbed a bunch of boxes and labeled: giveaway, ebay, other room and grabbed a trash bag and started sorting.

 

It was liberating!!!!!!

 

So many things I had that - well why??!!!!????

 

So they are now either going to be posted on ebay or given away or used in another room.  It was FABULOUS to clean it out.  Its not fully done, but IM hoping to get to it today and finish it up.

 

Then I crashed.  I was so incredibly tired.  So I took a nap.  Then I couldnt get off the couch - nor did I want to.  So I was a little bummed, but waited it out.

 

Later on I felt a little better.  My husband had decided he wanted to go out before I felt better so he left to meet a friend for a drink.   I thougth about getting changed and meeting up with them.  But, I dont drink (its disasterous if I do) havent for 6 months and some days I just cant deal with drunk people, and when he is with this friend (who is also his brother - who is just a nasty man (long story short - his wife has some kind of mental issues and refuses to get help- and in the end they blame me for her problems rather than dealing with it.  They dont know anything about my bipolar, but apparently I turn people against her, and I trigger things with her, etc.  It makes no sense, but I try to be understanding, but its hard.  So because of this his brother is rude and downright mean to me and takes satisfaction in making me cry.  So I avoid him as much as I can).  They always get drunk together and I wasnt in the mood to deal with that nor did I think I felt strong enough.

 

So my best friend came over and we made popcorn and played wii and watched Bridget Jones Diary - oh how I LOVE that movie!  I should really get it in DVD cause the tape is getting old! LOL!  How funny - my niece is 5 and I just know by the time she is a teenager she will be like - VCR's whats that???  LOL!
It was so wonderful just relaxing with my BFF and just chillin - it was a perfect night.

 

So she went home - still no word from my husband - and I went upstairs and read and went to bed.

Now this an accomplishment for me - cause in the past I would have obsessed over where he was, what he was doing, and text and call him obsessively.  But I assumed he was ok, he is an adult and just relaxed and went to sleep.

 

I woke up this morning same time (yeah!), showered, and got dressed, did my makeup...this is not the norm for me on a weekend - so the routine is in progress!!!

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