The last 2 days have been a roller coaster My boyfriends daughter showed up out of the blue to say Hi to her Dad whom she has not seen in 10 years .She had good and bad to share with old Dad and there were tears .
I was so grateful one person took an interest in my boyfriend I have not met one family memeber in the 4years since I have been with him.Things seem to be fine and the next day we went off to work toward the big city we live in the Vancouver area of B.C.
Well he started to cook before we left the apartment then when I was driving he started to rant 20 minutes later through traffic he was getting a bit much to handle .I stared to get blamed for all kinds of things I was so busy trying not to react but I got exhausted and a bit nervous in the traffic I started to turn around and told him if you do not calm down I am going home this is to much......Then **** hit the fan more ranting I pulled over to the nearest Plaza and chilled he jumped out the car steaming .
I waited till he came back phoned the boss said we would be detained and then all the way home got it worse .
I dropped him off after a zillion threats and went to my sister's came home 4 hours later only to find the apartment packed in one corner ...more threats and all my fault for missing a days work and no money.More stuff to deal with I just sat there with cig. in hand and ended up saying sweet dick all.
Holy Crap things are better today but I will not go into town with him ranting and I told him that ,he called me irresposible and other things and (many other things )and threatened me again.
In the morning till a friend of ours showed up he was still blaming me for stuff...I feel like getting a few things done ,like my teeth doing a half decent Christmas that he said he might wreck if I do not behave ???And ******* off to the south of France .
I was pretty good but he I kept my hands up in the car so he could not hit me while I was driving ...I tried hard not to react to the sobering reality that perhaps he needs help from someone else maybe even his daughter .
But the poor kid I feel like I will be sending her the Barricuda for lunch , and where the hell is everybody else that I have heard so much about .
I can see their point but come on everyone deserves to be heard or at leastt one person in the faamily should step up to the plate for his sake ...I have seen this before when I worked at Riverview as an Activity Aide worker. I am so ****** they closed down the Mental Hospitals in the lower mainland here it sucks big time.Where do theses people go ???Guess???
Vancouver has a street pop. of people we have never had in our lives here because the Gov't wanted to put everyone with Mental Disabilities into Group homes and scocialize them into the real community..whatever that looks like now.... Some of them are on Crack now cause they get tangled with the wrong people and families do not want them or cannot handle them.
then the one's that do not get off the Crack in time become Mentally ****** up and another statistic....or fall between the cracks...Pun Intended
Has anyone ever stood up to him and just said that were all tired of this? If I were standing in the same room with him this is what I would be saying.
People are tired of hearing about you and your issues all the time. Why does everything have to be about you? I can see up to this point it’s working really well for you. Your families have distanced themselves from you and want no contact and when your daughter does finally come for a visit after 10 years…what do you do??? Much of the same and I wouldn’t be surprised if you don’t see her for another 10 years.
We are all sick of your insults and passing the blame which means you are taking no responsibility on your part for anything that goes on. We are tired of being you’re whipping post and if you don’t get help this week…my son and I will also be leaving and it won’t take much with all the packing you have accomplished thus far.
I don’t need this crap nor am I going to tolerate it anymore from you or anyone else. My son comes first in my life and I will not have him put into this kind of environment of abusive and outbursts coming from you. Words can really hurt and once said can’t be retracted. Some of the things that spewed out of your mouth lately top the charts in insults and blame that I feel are totally untrue and unfair of you to say.
If you really want to change and get on the right track and start doing whatever it takes to get well, I will do my best to support you, but I am done supporting this kind of home life…it’s not good for me or my son.
If you fear any kind of physical abuse might take place by saying this to him, then pack your stuff, move to your parent’s or friends place and leave him the note. Don’t return until he is in therapy and made amends to you. I have a feeling that he isn’t going to change. If he really wanted too, I would have thought loosing his family and contact with his daughter would have done it already. Maybe he just hasn’t had the tools to accomplish it, who knows.
Most people don’t get it that what they say really hits hard and that most of us don’t forget stupid and abusive things that are said from time to time. That’s why verbal abuse is just as bad as physical the only difference is with physical the marks will eventually go away; mentally it’s still there for both.
Anyone that stands there and takes it unless it’s a child pretty much as low self esteem and low self worth of themselves. A child exposed to this on a daily bases will develop issues and as far as I am concerned…any parent that fights in front of their children or exposing them to this kind of conduct should be nail for child abuse.
When you decided to take on being a parent…you’re first and foremost loyalties lay with keeping your child out of harms way. Some people get it and make changes in their lives to get on the right track and some never get it. Hope things work out for you polarlight.
My friend, it's time to get the hell out of dodge. He's your boyfriend, not your child. You're not responsible for him. He's responsible for himself.
It may seem harsh but I worry about you. He could seriously injure you or someone else while he's ranting like a lunatic.