depression

learned I will die from a brain tumor - not from bipolar

hautbois Community Member May 25, 2010
  • I have not posted in a few weeks.  Over a week ago I learned that the growth on the left pons of my brain stem can not be removed and will eventually take my life.  This growth over the last year has caused me neurological problems with the right side of my body.  I have gone through so much in the last 18 months with my health and this is the topper.  I am somewhat at peace knowing what will kill me - I can move forward.  I wish my bipolar would stop taking me to places I do not want to go to.  Life...

5 Comments
  • Eric
    May. 28, 2010

    When I was diagnosed with malignant invasive melanoma (skin cancer) my thoughts became scatter all over the place. So I can only imagine what your going through. I know at that time I really wasn't up to people feeling sorry for me and it actually got old of people that used to hate me all of a sudden were trying to be friends. Guess they figured they could...

    RHMLucky777

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    When I was diagnosed with malignant invasive melanoma (skin cancer) my thoughts became scatter all over the place. So I can only imagine what your going through. I know at that time I really wasn't up to people feeling sorry for me and it actually got old of people that used to hate me all of a sudden were trying to be friends. Guess they figured they could do it for a short while with me dying and all. The poor bast**ds...I survived :)

    I also when through a phase of thinking of maxing all my credit cards out and actually anyone else's I could get my hands on so that I could go out with a bang...what were the Credit card companies going to do...send the bill to the cemetery?

    I also thought about sleeping with as many wild women I could find before my time was up. The only wild woman in our town was Marget. Margret had one tooth in her head and when she smiled it looked like a fang. Her looks could scare the warts off a bullfrog...but many had said she was a wild one. Thank god I never carried through with that thought.

    So I will leave you with this...I did say a prayer for you last night and will again tonight for both you and your family. Look at things you always wanted to do but put it off for what ever reason....and just go do it (except Margret of course). And if you need to just vent, were here to listen

  • Chris
    May. 26, 2010

    That's terrible news.  I pray that your days left go smoothly and are enjoyable and that you are able to squeeze out all the time you need.  

  • GIRL
    May. 26, 2010

    My PRAYERS are with you! At least you know and come to peace with it. I have a 22 year old friend that just passed away while at his computer on facebook of a brain aneurysm and had no clue he had it =( so sad.

     

    As for the Bipolar I know it's an everyday batte...

     

    You take care and bless your heart!

     

     

  • Anonymous
    tabby
    May. 25, 2010

    I'm sorry. 

     

    I have no other expression to offer to you at this moment except that my sympathies are with you on this diagnosis.

     

    If you feel to keep posting, please do and of course, if not... that's okay too.  Just know that I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and that of your family as well.

    • hautbois
      May. 26, 2010

      Tabby,

      Thanks for your kind words.  I just needed to vent the other day.  I am basically at peace with the growth taking my life.  It is not like television, Doctors do not tell you how long you have, because they do not know.  This could take me in a year or ten years - no telling.  So I am trying to enjoy every day I wake up.

      I just...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      Tabby,

      Thanks for your kind words.  I just needed to vent the other day.  I am basically at peace with the growth taking my life.  It is not like television, Doctors do not tell you how long you have, because they do not know.  This could take me in a year or ten years - no telling.  So I am trying to enjoy every day I wake up.

      I just wish the bipolar would take a vacation for a while so I can get rid of the chatter in my brain.