I just found this site yesterday and it has been helpful to me. I have been suffering from severe depression since December 2008. I was very sick with another MRSA infection and my HIV numbers were dismal. MRSA almost got me this time. If I had waited one more day I would have gone septic and died. I became very depressed in the hospital, had a few major panic attacks and asked for psych help, as I knew I was not in my right mind. All I wanted to do was die. I am being treated for major depression, anxiety and bipolar2. On Monday I woke up feeling euphoric. Feels like the depression is gone. I have had about eight hours of sleep in the past three days. Another night awake. My therapist stated Tusday night that it sounded like I have Hypomania. This was confirmed today by my Psychiatrist. I trust them both. This has been a great feeling - a vacation from depression, but I do not like it anymore. I feel like (excuse me for what fllows) a cat on a hot tin roof. Looking back I have probably have had depression and mild forms of hypomania all my life, but never to the extent I have it now. I have tried relaxation techniques, etc., but nothing seems to work. I know the depression will come back kicking me in the butt, sooner or later. I am a professional musician but my music is not helping me right now. Can anyone tell me how he/she made it through their first major attack? I thank you in advance for any advice you can give.
i know how to deal with it now, but it wasn't easy to get to this point. i work very hard oln myself to be healthier and better in all that i do. i strive to be my best in everything that i do. there are four neg. emotions: fear anger grief guilt...if you stay in check with these emotions, you can change your behaviors. there are also four agreements: be impecable with your words, accountability, don't assume, and don't take it personaly. i use these as guidence to my mind, heart, and soul. they realy help me when i have any or some forms of mania--esp. hypomania, because i am the most calm and thoughtful when i am in that state. i can think straight enough to work on myself easier. it sometimes gets harder with a more severe cases of both/either poles.
respectfully,
darkangel