OK so here i am again on my down ward spiral just as i thought things where looking up for me it all comes crashing down. I finally thought that i had found a nice guy a guy that like me for me but i was wrong yet again. Last night we went out for dinner it was a really nice dinner and he payed for everything i thought we was having a really good time well at least i was we was talking and laughing and for once i was with a guy who wasn't looking at every woman that walked by i felt so comfterble and happy. He then gets a text on his phone and everything changed he suddenly be come figity and wanted to get away in hurry we didnt even get to finish our drink. He said that it was is brother and that he needed to go as he needed a early night as he had to get up at 5am the next morning. I said oh right ok thats fine but it got me thinking that it wasn't his brother that may be it was another girl as everything was okay till that text. Mayed thats just my paranoia speaking but something was not right. He then walked me to the taxi rank said he had a nice evening said sorry it was so short. Then gave me a hug and said he will text me today. When i got home i decided to text him he never replyed and still i have not heard from him. I am so confssed as i thought we where getting on great and not just last night but all over the 2 weeks we have been together. I really like him and i am so upset that i have not heard anything from him. I just cant understand it he was all over me then nothing. I cant get him out of my head and i would love it if we where together but i just feel that i am never going to hear from him again and that hurts. Now i am thinking that its all my fault that i done something wrong or that i wore the wrong clothes or that if i hadn't told him that i had bipolar that he would still be with me. I really hate being bipolar. Is this how things are going to be for the rest of my life guys running off as soon as they know that i have a mental illness how can i live like this i am the one who always ends up heart broken. I hate this illness so much i just wish i could push a button and make it go away. People say it's his loss and that i will find someone it just dosent feel like that. 
