In A Very loving, Caring Relationship. Paranoier Keeps taking over.

By Ice Queen Tuesday, May 26, 2009

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I have had quite a busy few months and stable one's at that. I have felt normal with no hint of anything it's been the best few months for a very long time never thought i could feel like this. I am now in a very happy relationship with a loving caring guy who for once loves me for me. I really think the world of him and hate being apart. He is the first guy that i have actuerly told everything to. He said he dosen't care if i have bipolar because he loves me for who i am and that the bipolar is just an illness it's not who i am.

The only problem is i am stared to feel paraniond for really no reason at all and i know deep down that its wrong. I am expecting him to text me every day and if he dosen't i am thinking that he is off with his ex or that he dosn't want to know me anymore. I do trust him but these stupid thoughts come out of no where and they don't go. If we arrange to meet in the week i want to know why he can't make it a day before. I know it is wrong and although i want to keep questioning him i don't i some how mange to stop myself. But then the thoughts run around and around in my head and i can't make them stop sometimes.

I text him today and so far he hasn't answered i know that it because he works from 8am till 5pm and dosen't get home till 6 but i can't stop thinking that he is not at home that he is out some where or i am worrying that he is hurt i don't know why it drives me crazy.

He tells me his every move he said he dosn't care that he will do what ever it takes to keep me feeling happy because he dosn't want to lose me. He shouldn't really be telling me his every move it's not right. I don't want it to be this way but i do i make it stop??.

Pregnant , scared and alone.

Comments (9) | Add comment

tabby

5/27/09 5:12am

seeing the pdoc and getting a med tweak may be something to consider

talking with the tdoc and working through these supposed emotional reactions and responses, might be another thing to consider

is good to "see" you by the way, again

Ice Queen

5/27/09 5:52pm

Hello. Thankyou for your comments.

I have decided that if i want this relationship to work which i do then i have to stop going on like i am. I have taken on board what you said and i went and rang my pdoc and got a appointment for next week to see if i can get new meds to help. I really don't want to go on being paraniod all the time.

knowthyself

5/27/09 9:41am

Thoughts like this do not come out of nowhere. They may be based on past experiences and related to negative feelings about yourself. He seems like such a great guy.

You could explore the basis for these irrational thoughts and you could challenge their validity. He has not demonstrated any behavior to substantiate your concerns. You are worthy and deserving of a relationship with a man like this. He cannot be attached to his phone 24/7 and promptly return a text. He is not the person who cheated on you in the past, if there was such a person. You can continue the list and or make challenging statements on your own. If you determine what your insecurity is related to, you can concentrate on that area. When the irrational thoughts arise start working with rational statements to stop the feelings of insecurity from taking over.

Ice Queen

5/27/09 6:13pm

Hello. Thankyou for your comments.

You hit the nail on the head i do carry alot of negative feelings about myself i grew up in a house where i was constanly being told that i wasn't right and that i was fat and not pretty. So i have always been worried about my weight. I was in a relationship where he cheated on me and constantly lied i thought that i was over it gusse i wasn't. But when we first started going out i was nothing like this it just started.

Well he didn text me back after a while and explained why he had'nt text me back before which then mayed me feel guilty. Today i decided that i was going to stop thinking this stuff and that i was not going to text him. I have manged not to text him at all today. I don't want to be like this it's not fair on him he is a great guy. I am just not sure if i can stop or how to convice myself that he is intrested in me only. I have also had this problem with friends and family. I have mayed an appointment to see my pdoc next week so maybe a change of meds might help stop this paranoier. I don't want to lose him. He is the one good thing in my life.

knowthyself

5/27/09 7:16pm

At some point you are going to have to start trusting him, based on his trustworthy actions. If at some time he gives youu a reason not to trust him then you can withdraw your trust. Trust must be earned but he is not to pay the price of others that have been deceitful.

You have done good so far in being determined to change the way you are thinking. Keep trying to determine where your thinking is irrational and correct it.

Good luck with everything.

tabby

5/28/09 8:44am

I'm glad to know that you are going to talk with your pdoc

Your reply statement about not knowing if you can stop AND how you do this with friends and family as well....

If maybe the pdoc thinks a slight tweak would help with the perhaps thought/behavior impulse, then the therapist would be able to help moreso with the insecurity/comparing him to past experiences stuff.

Relationships are hard work, even the very best of them, to keep them going when you have 2 individuals trying to meld into one cohesive pair.

I'm wishing you the best.

Eric

5/28/09 4:33am

Hey Sweetheart,

Nice to see you back around again! I know you don't want to hear this but maybe your not quite ready for a serious relationship just yet. A serious relationship requires that both come together when they can meet each other half way and have the ability to stand on their own two feet.

I am not saying ditch this nice guy! What I am saying is that it might be a good time to just take a step back to a real close friendship verses a couple until you can get your mental health in check.

You owe that much to yourself and also to him. You do not want to become dependent on someone else nor be highly suspicious of his every move....thats where stalking begins. This also sounds somewhat of a long distance relationship...if it is, be very careful because the other person is rarely what they tell you.

Once again I also agree with Tabby, but don't tell her :)

Candy Kay

5/28/09 3:31pm

Hello,

I do this when I am not on my meds. for bipolar. I know my husband well and know he will not do anything to hurt me. Just my minds get to wandering crazy thoughs. Just wanted to let you know your not alone.

Peace,

Candy Kay

gogirl

9/24/09 10:33pm

From my experience, I don't think that your problem is related to being bipolar - but, what do I know? I think that we want to make sure that we are accurately trusting the people whom we are with - since so many people are players. & sometimes intuitiion is correct. ...However, I've started to think that I'm better off in the relationship by not meantioning that I have these feelings.

I am not bp, but my ex-boyfriend was and I had these feelings. I felt unimportant, since he'd stay out late with friends and not call on weekends (we live in different places). In the end, he did start to see someone else and that hurt.

Weird thing was that he was ALWAYS calm.

In A Very loving, Caring Relationship. Paranoier Keeps taking over.

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