he's in hospital and I'm discouraged

By mama2chloe Wednesday, January 02, 2008

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My husband admitted himself into a hospital last night because he was drunk and had been depressed and mad all day. He was mad at me because I went out with a friend I hadn't hung out with in years. I asked him if he wanted to come but he refused. I thought maybe I would be home by midnight but I was an hour away so I didn't make it back. Since it was New Years, it was appeartly a huge deal to him. I appologized but he just couldn't move past it.

Well, he dealt with it by getting very drunk. Called Poison Control cuz he started puking and he thought he was toxic (takes lithium, seroquel, and had taken 3 xanax).

When he calls me he says the hospital doesn't have groups or anything. He also is mean. Hangs up and blames me for being in this situation. I think he is mad cause he can't smoke cigarettes.

When he was drunk he got my 2 year old out of the car and fell (she is okay but I freaked, I mean he could've let me get her).

I need advice.

I don't have anyone to turn to, I couldn't even get in to see a counselor today.

Help.

Comments (2) | Add comment

Rusty

1/ 2/08 7:00pm

Hospital is the best place for him. Even though I think he is using it to make you feel guilty. DON'T! He sounds like he has not taken any responsibility for his illness and needs a wake up call. He needs to be monitored, meds adjusted and have some time to reflect. Leave him there for a while. If you are not satisfied with the hospital try a different one. Take a few days to get yourself strong and don't feel guilty. Look after yourself and your little one. If you read stories from other people with BP on this site you will realise that they take responsibility for their illness and do not blame others for it. Your husband must do the same. Do not let him guilt trip you. He has the problem and must deal with it. Gently tell him he is in the best place and must take responsibility for getting well. Tell him not to blame others for his illness and expect them to make it right. Good luck. Rusty

Hopeful mom

1/ 2/08 7:58pm

My son tends to try to "emotionally" blackmail me alot. He was angry and awful to us in every family therapy session while he was in the hospital. When we picked him up he told us he'd go back to the hospital if he couldn't get his way.

He's gone past it now thank goodness. I think he was just so depressed and angry that he needed someone to take it out on.

Once we got him in therapy and his meds straightened out, it's been much better.

The major change, however, has been his attitude. Before he gave no thought to others or how his actions affected everyone. Now, he's much nicer and more loving and doesn't resort to blackmail as much. This wasn't just meds that did it. It was therapy and communication and really showing him how his behavior could be controlled if he chose to do that. It was me telling him how much I loved him and how his behavior hurt me.

Your husband is angry at the world and this isn't your fault. Your going out didn't cause it. Leave him where he is. He chose to be there and that's where he needs to be.

He really has to stop drinking though. That is extremely dangerous to a depressed person, not to mention it doesn't mix well with the meds he's on.

Hang in there.

he's in hospital and I'm discouraged

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