Helpless

You've been with him 6 years.  You've had Bipolar for longer than that though only diagnosed 3 years ago.  This means that you had Bipolar episodes the day you 2 met.

You say he loves you dearly but is unable to accept your disorder now that you have been diagnosed and that in order for him to commit fully to you... you need to get control of your disorder - though you say he can't even speak the name of the disorder.

You want to know how you can get him to understand.  Sug... if he hasn't been willing to try and understand after 6 years and especially after 3 years of diagnosis, ignores you, and won't even speak about it when the issue of actually commiting himself to you comes up... you aren't going to get him to understand. 

In actuality, he may be the one with the problem regarding commitment and is using your disorder as an excuse to keep it from actually happening.  If he stipulates that you have to control your illness... what precisely is it that he says that you have to control about it?

Are you taking your meds as prescribed?  Are you going to therapy?  Are you seeing your psychiatrist?  Are you working on your coping skills?  Are you getting your needed structured sleep?  Have you made any lifestyle changes necessary to avoid triggering your episodes?  Have you learned or figured out some of your episode triggers yet? 

OR

 Are you drinking or doing illicit drugs to self-medicate and not taking your meds or not taking them as prescribed?  Are you impulsive with your behavior responses to your mood swings?  Have you stopped going to your psychiatrist and/or therapist?  Are you relying solely on him to take care of you and supply you with all your needs while you are symptomatic therefore making him responsible for managing your illness?  Are you using your illness as an excuse for actions or lack of actions in your relationship?

What is it that precisely you are not doing to control or manage your symptoms that he is saying you need to do first after 3 years from diagnosis?

I know how you when I started showing symtims my marrige  when down the shiter she could not under stand and did not want to so she left after hurting me realy bad and for a while it realy hurt but now thank god she left even though I do not see my kids every day if I stayed with I might have bin in jail . I don't know if you can use any thing in my story to help you but some destions are to hard to make when feeling blue and we have to make one we realy don't want to but that me be the one that will make you better off  hope I helped   wildwill