Trouble in Paradise

I wish I could understand myself. Maybe by understanding myself better I'll be able to understand the people the run my life. In 17 days I turn 18, so one would assume that certain freedoms would be given back. You know, getting a tattoo, getting peircing. Every girl dreams about their wedding and getting a pony and being rich. I dreamed about tattoos. Not trashy ones, don't get me wrong. I'm talking ART on my body. I want something relating back to my parents for all they've done for me the last 17 years of their lives and all they've put up with. I wanted my mother to get one with me! I'm not trying to be trashy, I'm trying to get something that means something to me. Everyone else gets to get a tattoo, buy their first pack of cigarettes, when they turn 18. I won't be one of them. Because my parents are at such a strict level they're trying to trap me and make me pay for car insurance and I'm sure other stuff if I get one.

Naturally, I flew OFF the handle, because I have yet to take my medicines today. I destroyed my foot I'm sure from kicking the living daylights out of my dresser. And now I've devised a plan for moving out. (I'd also like to note my dad reads everything I do online, satellite tracks my car, we have like 8 video cameras surrounding the house, my phone is tracked, Where is the freedom?)

I'd hope that by the time I turned 18 I'd regain some of the freedoms I've never really had. But I guess not! And I still have to be home by 10. Even though it's summer.

UGH! I hate everything! I don't want anything to do with anything any more. I want to be left alone. This is my first shot at a share post....sorry if I was way off on what we're supposed to post about. I'm just at a complete loss right now.