why?creativity?

Nope, neither. If I'm depressed I can't find motivation to even think, so no creativity there. If I'm high and full of energy (too much energy) my thoughts run so fast through my mind I can't stop and do anything because, I can't focus. So I need to be balanced to be creative. I don't think we have more creativity than others, I think we may be a little more reckless than others because of BP.

It's no fun to me what so ever. And if I had to choose between being depressed = low energy,contemplating suicide for, god knows how long... Not being able to go out or function Vs being on the other pole and have all that energy to do everything (non stop) and leave the house without even feeling like dying or phobic... I would prefer to be high and not stop moving around doing everything that needs to be done and cleaned and whatever I will find to do for sure... I don't have any pleasure with this illness, it has stolen a lot from me. I wish I never had it.

When I see for example my husband draw for the kids, and watched him finish his degree, knowing he isn't bipolar (diagnosed anyway, lol) I have a hard time thinking we are so much more creative. I wonder if this is part of the 'ego' thing that goes along with mania. I have always painted, there's art in my carreer (which I am changing now because I loath it) and my schooling is so difficult I wonder if you have to be practically a genius to finish...sometimes I wonder if "intelligence" is a prerequisite...but then I recall my untreated mentally ill mother (most likely bipolar, perhaps something else) who tells everyone she actually IS a genius (how embarassing) and explains all the ways, and I recall the utter depravity of her ego-centric highs all my life. Ugh. No thankyou. The only think I like about this disease is that I can occationally gain an extra nap with the excuse, but then I most likely need it desperately.