Dear Wackjob,

I read your post and I can really relate to what you are going through.  What is it about mental health professionals?  They all seem to take August as their vacation month and they disappear, as you said, until after Labor Day.

You said your doctor hasn't called you back.  That doesn't surprise me.  My "therapist" always tells me, after a regular session, to call her any time if I need anything.  So, one Friday night I called  her cell phone number, which she gave me.  She never returned my call, even though I was frantic and desperate on the phone, when I called her. Later, when we met in her offic, she said she didn't call me back because that would have been "enabling" my bad and inappropriate behavior.  She said she just knew I could handle it on my own, and she didn't want to interfere with my "growing experience"!  Bah, hum bug!  What on earth are they good for if they can't call you when you need them the most? 

I don't know about you, but my depression and mania don't usually respond to an 8 to 5, Saturday and Sunday off, schedule.  My worst demons come out at night, usually during the weekend.  The best you can do is call a crisis line, and you are very lucky if you get a person who is compassionate and understanding.  My experience with the crisis line has not been encouraging; in fact, I don't even call it anymore, because I didn't get anything out of it, except guilt because I had called in the first place.  I turned, instead, to my two cats, who let me love on them and purred and gently soothed my irritable soul.  My cats didn't cost me an arm and a leg either.  And, they just love and accept me the way I am.  What more could a person want?  I guess it would be nice if they could talk. When I get to thinking about it, though, part of their charm is in the fact that they DON'T talk to me.  I have been "talk therapied" to death - sharing my story with hundreds of mental health professionals, and only a handful of them treated me with respect, dignity, compassion and genuine interest.  The rest were either pill pushing docs, or people who watched the clock closely, for those 50 minutes to go by.  What a contrived situation, anyway, to sit in a nice, comfy office and pour your heart out to someone you are paying big bucks to, who you are lucky to see maybe once every six weeks, because your insurance won't pay for any more visits than that.  Having therapy once every six weeks just doesn't cut it.  To develop any kind of bond or relationship, I definitely need to see  my "therapist" more often than that.

Well, I have gotten on my soap box again.  My current "therapist" had a baby over the summer, and she will be gone for an undetermined length of time.  Did they provide me with a substitute therapist in her absence?  No!  I am supposed to tough it out until/when she gets back.  I don't even know when that will be because she didn't tell me, and she did not set up an appointment for when she would be back at work.  The good thing is that I won't go into any more debt while she is gone.  I am doing quite well by working at a job that I get a lot of satisfaction from and coming home to my son and my cats every day.  These three living, breathing animals (my son and two cats) are the best thing that ever happened to my mental health.  I quit drinking because of my son, and I now I don't drink because of me.

I am sorry I don't have more heartening news for you.  In a perfect world, we would get to see our therapists as much as we needed to, and there would be universal health care to ensure that no one goes bankrupt because of medical bills.  Sadly, it is not a perfect world, and neither of these things is a reality.

I guess I would suggest that you look in other places or to other people or animals (besides the professionals who "treat" you) for "therapy".  Try to get out there and make real friends, not just the ones you pay for.  How real can they be when we are paying their salary so they can tell us how and why we are so screwed up, and if we are lucky, give us solid, concrete feedback that is really helpful to our every day lives? 

Are there any support groups in your area?  Do you have family near by?  Have you considered getting a pet?  Many studies and my personal experience, have shown me that pets are absolutely phonomenal when it comes to lowering people's blood pressure and increasing their good moods.  If you live in an apartment and your landlord says you can't have a pet, get your doctor to sign a prescription stating that you need a "companion animal" for your physical and mental well being.  It is the law, that your landlord has to grant your request, if your doctor signs an order for one.

I hope you are doing okay.  If you want to talk more about this, you can always e-mail me at kayomholt@hotmail.com.  I would welcome any communication with you.

Wishing you the best that life can give you,

Kay

Wackjob

8/26/07 9:54am

Thanks so much!  In 2000, I was put in the hospital because everyone in the clinic I was in at the time was going on vacation!

 

I've basically been told to "dope to cope," i.e. double my anti-anxiety medication.  As a recovering alcoholic this does NOT make me happy.  My doctor told me I needed to "keep distanced from my feelings" for the time being.

 

My therapist said I could call her, but we've just started.  My previous therapist quit when her husband was dying in March, and it's taken me this long to find another one who would accept my insurance in tandem with my illness!  There is also a covering doctor, but there isn't really a reason to call her at this point.  She doesn't know me at all.

Wackjob

8/26/07 9:57am

BTW, I am lucky enough to have a supportive husband (although he gets worn out by caregiving), two wonderful cats, and most important, my service dog, a miniature pinscher named Bucky.  Talk about unconditional love--although he's a bit freaked out about how I walk and talk once the "stupid pills," as I call them, kick in.