Many of you may find my question offensive but still I need to ask.
I feel that i have been battling with some sort of depression, negative thoughts, low self-esteem, mood swings, sabotage, loneliness for 35 years. In the last 15 years, i met some people that have told me I should try to get chemical help. So far, i have not done it. Twice my doctor prescribed me some anti-depressants after i told him I might want to try. I bought the pills and they sat on my kitchen counter until i decided to discard them.
My question and please excuse me if I sound offensive. Is it clearly possible to quantify the benefits of the meds? Do you see a real difference?
I do not think I fear the side effects. I am just very reluctant to take the plunge. Fear of weakness, dependence, pure stupidity I suppose. I am not opposed to other medications. I take them if needed but somehow the idea of altering my brain chemistry does not make sense.
Please tell me your experience. Would you do it over again? Is my question a non-sense? I just want to get some external perspectives on this.