Many of you may find my question offensive but still I need to ask.
I feel that i have been battling with some sort of depression, negative thoughts, low self-esteem, mood swings, sabotage, loneliness for 35 years. In the last 15 years, i met some people that have told me I should try to get chemical help. So far, i have not done it. Twice my doctor prescribed me some anti-depressants after i told him I might want to try. I bought the pills and they sat on my kitchen counter until i decided to discard them.
My question and please excuse me if I sound offensive. Is it clearly possible to quantify the benefits of the meds? Do you see a real difference?
I do not think I fear the side effects. I am just very reluctant to take the plunge. Fear of weakness, dependence, pure stupidity I suppose. I am not opposed to other medications. I take them if needed but somehow the idea of altering my brain chemistry does not make sense.
Please tell me your experience. Would you do it over again? Is my question a non-sense? I just want to get some external perspectives on this.
Thanks
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I don't think your question is nonsense. It fact, I believe your concerns are very common amongst people who need to make the choice to start medication. Almost everyone I know on medication, including myself, had doubts before starting them.
As to whether the medication will help or not, well, there are no guarantees. Every person is different physically and emotionally, so there isn't a single 'cure-all' available. The only option therefore is the try it and see (as far as I'm aware), and yes, that can be a terrorfying choice to make.
I personally found the choice to medicate difficult, for many of the reasons you state. But in the end I made the leap of faith to try it. I was in councilling, and had been for a while. My counciller had given me many useful techniques to deal with anxiety/depression/etc, but when it came to applying them, it was like there was an invisible barrier that prevented me from fully achieving the level of 'wellness' I wanted. It's hard to explain it, what it feels like, but I knew that I needed to investigate the possibility of chemical treatment.
I sat down with my councillor, and carefully went through my choices. After talking it through with him, we both came to the conclusion that there was definately something biological going on, and that my therapy would quite possibly be benefited by seeing a psychiatrist, and being medicated.
In the end, I was diagnosed with PTSD, and an ADD type condition. I take Citalopram for the anxiety, and SR Ritalin for the ADD. And, my life has never been as clear as it is now. I was able to continue with my therapy, that invisible barrier disappeared when my medication stablised, and after another 6 months with my therapist, we both decided that I could go it alone. That was over 2 years ago.
Today, I'm still on meds, but I don't see that as a limitation. I see it similar to someone who it diabetic. They need insulin to have a normal life, because there is something biochemical going on - their natural insulin production is impaired. I'm in a similar situation. I have a biochemical condition(s) where the neurotransmitters seratonin and dopamine are affected. I'm not weak because I need to take medication to correct the chemical levels in my brain.
In the end, only you can make the choice whether to medicate or not. But I would strongly suggest that whether you do or not, you should a least get someone professional to help you with your condition. While medication can significantly improve life for someone affected by depression/anxiety/etc, it is only one tool out of many for dealing with emotional disorders. Councilling/therapy is, I believe, necessary to achieving recovery - with or without medication.
I hope this helps.
I completely agree with the above answer. I've told the "if you were a diabetic / epileptic comparisons as well." Our bodies just need something our brains can no longer supply in the quantities needed to function normally. Please try to leave the shame and stigmatism aside that society has thrown onto us. Not all cancers are the same and not all Bipolar diagnosis are identical.
I was diagosed almost 18 years ago. Medication ?? I swear by it and I need it. Have I messed up my doses from time to time? yes. Thinking I feel better NOW or I'll leave out a few for several days so I can go out with my friends and have a few. Nope, does not work, I'm here to tell you. Take care in your decision. It is yours until you are considered a danger to yourself or others and then the court can order it for you. Keep control of yourself and take care of yourself. As an old poem states: "you are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here"
Judi