Well about 3 years ago i went to a clinic to talk to someone about my issue i have with myself. As i was telling him about myself he said i was bipolor and i ask him why he say that and he said that during this interview I was having different mood swings as I was talking to him. I felt happy then sad at different time of the interview. after the interview was over he presribe me some medcine to take. I took the medcine and it did alot for my life but for a short time. i ran out ot medcine and my insurance cancel so i could not go back to him to prolong the treatment that i need with this doctor. so it now 2010 and i have not seen or talk to someone about my mental illness. i thought maybe i can controll my moods and just try to deal with it as i have but it like now its getting worse. am having major moods swings at work. am leaving early or do not come in because of this illness. i guess am in denial about the whole thing. What can i do to help myself to get help if i do not have any insurance to cover the fees. i can not keep a job becasue of this illness and it want go away. i have three kids to raise am single and need some help. i do not want ssi becasue i do not want to be label. i feel a shamed of this and need some help.
My heart goes out to you as I read your post. My comment is this: you and your family are the most important things to worry about. You need to get back to your doctor and get the meds, even if that means you are on ssi. The feeling of being labeled is self inflicted. Because I lost my job due to my actions during a manic phase, my boys now are on Medicade. I was worried about how the doctors and others would look at us or how they would treat us. The reality is that nothing has changed. One of my great friends had a great thing to say to me right after my life disaster and I was worried about what everyone was thinking of me, etc. He stopped me during our conversation and said "Why do you think that everyone is paying attention to you? (My disater was very public) He then said "everyone has "crap" in there lifes to deal with and they don't have time to think of you and your problems." Meaning as we feel self-conscious about what we have done and the steps we have to take to recover, the reality is that no one is really "watching" us or judgeing us. And, in my experience, everyone has been very helpful and encourageing.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers.