These are never fun, only reminding me of the cyclical nature of Bipolar disorder and the haunting fact that there is no permenant cure to this disease, despite a good combination of medication and therapy. This is something I will deal with the rest of my life.
This last week, I had a relapse, a pretty large one. Uncontrollable crying fits, unstable thoughts, and a general bout of depression plagued me all week. This came after about a month of positive change and equilibrium, so there's extra frustration in the return of symptoms. Saw the therapist today who's a complete blessing by the way, and things are looking up, but times can get obviously difficult, especially for someone who's self condemning a lot of the time. I can't relay enough however, the importance of having support around you. The fact that my parents are behind me 100% and there are friends close by willing to support regardless of what happens is monumental in my recovery process. They're the reason I even call myself the Long Hauler. Keep me in your prayers as I keep you all in mine.
Adam
Long Hauler...
Thanks for sharing your story. It helps me to realize that I am not alone in my day to day quest for better days. To know that you had a whole month of upward, positiveness...woo hoo!!
I'm stringing a few days together myself. I've learned to be SO KIND AND SO PATIENT with me and my healing. Our brains are such delicate organs...
My husband and I have had so many talks about how it's going. It's reassuring to know that he sees forward progress when I can't see the forest for the trees. He still doesn't understand that ANYTHING can be a trigger for a brain frizzling episode. I had 1/2 a day yesterday of crying and weird thinking and all that. I'm understanding more and more the importance of sleep. That is the biggest thing for me. Learning how to stop an episode.
I too am very thankful for uplifting friends and family. It's hard to not be able to do all that I could do just a few short months ago.
I agree that our therapists are a key component to our wellness.
I'll be praying for you Long Hauler...good name...I'm in it for the long haul too...
God Bless You,
Shelly
You know, through my therapist who's like your husband in his ability to see the positive-I see too much negative-that we can't stop the episodes, but we can plan ahead with steps on how best to deal with them besides trying to sleep them away or ruminate (which doesn't really help a lick). I'm totally pleased though that my story gave you hope. A whole month is possible, and so is longer stretches.
I think a trick is not to self condemn when they happen. Bipolar and manic episodes are no faults of ours nor did we cause them. That's something I must remember. Thanks for your transparency as all of this helps me to know that we're not alone in this. Keep the chin up and keep in touch!
Adam
PS: aren't people who support even when they don't understand a divine blessing? I believe strongly that they are! Praise God for that.