Last night was a bad night. When I first arrived home she came out and we went to the store. We were at the checkout and I had asked a question. I received back a major attitude that she had said what I had asked. So I apoligized and said I did not hear her say this. She came unglued and starting saying really loud how rude I was being and she had not problem starting something right there in the store. I was almost in tears. I did not say anything except ok hoping she wouldn't say anything else. As we were leaving the store , me with my head low hoping nobody could see the tears building, she was ranting again about how she had warned me all day where she was and then there I was starting crap.

I wish that is all that happened. But no. Later that evening I was messaging her feet while watching tv and everything seemed better. She was laughing and we were having a  good time. Well, a little later I was reading the mail and she made a comment. I responded but not as fast as she wanted me to. She grabbed what I was reading and threw it across the room. I picked it up and it was dirty. Now somethign I haven't mentioned I have been sick this week so I started crying and she asked another question. I responded through tears and she came unglued saying I was getting a tone with her and pushed me. I left the room crying and perceeded to put away laundry in our room. She heard me close a drawer and came storming in ranting again about if I wanted to start something. I told her I was putting away the laundry she noticed that and started to calm down. She made another comment I honestly do not remember what she said. I answered her through tears and again she heard my response as a tone and came after me. She hit me and was kicking me and at this point I lost my own head and made things worse. I proceeded to tell her not to put her hands on me. Now when I get mad there is a face she says I make and it sends her into a rage.  That is what she is saying I am doing. Well hell yeah I am pissed at this point. I raise my fists and that is it. She sees that as an attack instead of a defensinve mode and the scrapping starts. I usually do not hit her back but this time I had gotten so fed up with the fact she lays her hands on me. So I did the worst thing I could and engaged her. I felt horrible when I landed a blow but better at the same time. All that built up frustartion for the past year of her putting her hands on me was released. Now of course she is pissed and I am sure I hurt her feelings as well by my actions. So her mouth is still going on how all this is my fault if I had just controlled myself and not made the face it would have never elevated to where it had. Of course I am also a dumb b**** and digust her as well. She hates me and threatens taking all these people away from me because I am so horrible. I am all about me and do nothing to help her. The physical fight lasted not even 5 mintues and it was over, but for 2 hours after I got to sit there and listen to her complain about all these things I do wrong and how I could stop this and she does not feel bad for what she did.  (I know down deep she probably feels bad but not like she use to) I deserve what I get now. We had plans for tonight and she said she was going to do what she could to make sure they are ruinned.