Well we went along for a good 3 years of stability after my son's hospitalization at the age of 15. Now he's 19 and having his first manic episode. He ran off with a 14 year old pregnant meth addict. He lost his first real job and spent every bit of money he had on the girl. He doesn't have money for car insurance or to pay his cell phone bill. His grandpa bought him a 2010 Chevrolet Cobalt for graduation but he can't insure it. I dropped the coverage down to liability only just to protect myself because I'm listed as a co-owner on the title. He told me yesterday that I no longer have a son. I'm trying to tell myself this is the illness talking but it still hurts. I know I'm not the one with bipolar but I do suffer. I'm so depressed I don't want to get up in the morning. It's so hard to hold on and keep loving someone who wants nothing to do with me. I haven't seen him in 3 weeks and 2 days and it's killing me.
Hopeful Mom... I am going to ask a question that you will likely not want asked but I have followed you & your son all these years - as you know.
Is there any possibility that he may also, be on Meth or any other substance?
I only ask and I'll say why: You say he is 19 & has ran off with a pregnant 14 yo Meth addict, he has spent all his money on her, and now wants nothing more to do with family.
So... he's not taking medication for his psych issues... he's hanging out with a child & he an adult... she, by your accounts, is a user... and well??????
I'm sorry all this has happened. He may, or may not, come back around when whatever this situation is resolves. Whether it's true mania, or substance induced mania, or just have gotten caught up in the wrong group of folks & threw off all the hard work ya'll put in for 3 years.... however, it resolves and this particular situation will... he may or may not come back around.
You will need to figure what you need to do in either situation. He is a adult now.
What do you need to do to protect and keep yourself from going further down that slope you are currently in, mentally wise?
The good thing is that he's living with some friends and their mom and dad. I don't know what he's taking. I have some drug tests here at the house if he ever comes back around again. I don't plan to let him live here again unless he passes a drug test. He has his meds but I don't even know if he's taking them correctly. I highly suspect he's not. He says the girl is off meth now and that she quit taking it for him, but I know they're both very skilled liars. He is totally not acting like himself. He won't talk to his dad or me at all. He just sends me nasty text messages. He is still in contact with his sister. I don't think we've lost him completely yet but the deeper he gets in with this girl, the worse it's going to be.
odds are... HM.. no, he is not taking the meds consistently - if at all
and if he is so with the girl... he may be taking something something to replace the meds he isn't taking
I'm just concerned that he is 19 and off with a 14 yo pregnant girl.
I don't know if maybe he thinks he is being the knight on the horse to rescue and care for the girl (in his mind) or what??? but, he is 19 HM... he is legally recognized as an adult now.
It's going to be much much harder to keep an eye on him from this point forward and keep tabs. As a child, the parent has so much authority & can press and - not liking the word but let's call it what it is - force, what we believe is best.
When the child grows into being an adult... eh, parent loses that authority and control especially when @ first the child is feeling the throes of adulthood. He knows it & odds are he has some friends reinforcing that to him everyday.
At least he is still in contact with his sister... so, in his mind, he still trusts her to some extent. He wants a connection, he just doesn't want everyone to know that & he wants to pick his connections.
So, you've not totally lost him. There is a small logical and reasonable pipeline to him. That is something HM... that is something.
On Friday night, the girl called to tell me he left his phone and car keys with her and took off on foot. We went and picked up his car but couldn't find him. Four hours later, he showed up at the house of the people he's been staying with. He walked 10 miles that night. He agreed to let me take him to the doctor and we did this on Monday. He had a med adjustment and saw his therapist a couple of times. The girl is no longer in his life and he seems to be stable again for the moment. We lucked out in the fact that he realized he was in danger and needed help. He doesn't want to live at home right now and I'm trying to support him in that. He has agreed to let me fill up his pill box once a week so that he will take his meds correctly. The power of prayer is a miraculous thing.